Marvel stuff

Puns

Peter: *arriving back from patrol*

Peter: I think I broke one of my fingers, but on the other hand, I'm completely fine.

Tony: *sighs*

Nat: *Points at herself, Clint, her food and then at Peter* Spy A, Spy B, Spicy, Spidey.

 Tony: not you too..

Scott: *Arrived on the Avenger's floor* 

Clint: *Picks up hot sauce bottle Nat used* the wheels on tabasco round and round

Scott: In some places that's called a lift, in others its an elevator. I guess people were just raised differently.

Peter: if someone steals a saxophone is it grand theft alto?

Pietro: if you talk to sneakers are you Converse-ing?

Clint: The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking

Scott: but the broom truly swept the nation

Shuri: Soap washed away the competition

Peter: the CD broke some records.

Wanda: Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your eyes. Then it's a soap opera

Tony: will you all just sit down? why are you all standing anyway?

Peter: but sitting goes against everything we stand for.

Pietro: If you eat really good soup, is it sooper?

Tony: CAN you not?

 Shuri: if you count cows instead if sheep, its probably pasture bedtime

Wanda: Ireland is only one sea away from Iceland

Peter: I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually its more of a wrap

Tony: *throws an empty milk carton at Peter*

Peter: I can't believe Mr. Stark threw milk at me! How dairy!

Tony: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE A COMEBACK!??

Peter: because with great power comes great response ability.

Bruce: What did the scientist say when they found two isotopes of helium?

Peter & Shuri: HeHe!

Bucky: *walks in* where'd all the fruit go? like seriously, who here eats fruit besides me?

Sam: would you describe yourself as peachless?

Steve: *seriously impressed*

Clint: you know Nat once told me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Nat: if you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you are independant.

Sam: if you boil a clown is it a laughing stock?

Clint: I don't know but it'd probably taste funny.

Shuri: If I scanned a photo of my brother on a photocopier, would it be a cat scan or a copycat?

Pietro: You know what happens if you slap someone at a high frequency? It hertz.

Peter: Lobsters are scorpion mermaids

Tony: omfg stop!

Steve: no, please keep going!

Scott: Everything in the universe is made of atoms, except for a few things like things smaller then an atom.

Tony: *trying to find the pun* what?

Peter: That was literally just a fact.

Shuri: if you stacked the entire human population on top of each other, they'd lose balence and fall.

Clint: if you took all the blood vessels out of a person and laid them end to end... that person would die.

Sam: You were once the youngest person alive.

Bucky: What? Oh shit, yeah

Peter: does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?.

Tony: does Fury blink or wink

Nat: Blink. *does not elaborate*

Peter: Someone who studies atoms is a bunch of atoms trying to understand atoms.

Pietro: onion rings are vegetable donuts. *Gasps* we should get donuts

Tony: I'LL GO!

Steve: Can you go later, we've almost finished dinner.

Bruce: what are you making?

Steve, Thor & Wanda: Lasagne.

Peter: Lasagne is spaghetti flavoured cake.

Wanda: the first episode of a show is called a pilot because that's when its on air.

Steve: The food's done.

Tony: Thank god!

Thor: you're welcome!

Pietro: For Halloween I'm gonna be Sonic the Hedgehog.