Bound to Happen - A TNN Fan-Fiction

The Drop Out

A/N: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER

Sunday 10:09AM

It is 10AM and I am getting ready to leave to head to my support group meeting, I am only required to attend a minimum of twice a week but there is a meeting everyday. I only tend to go two, maybe three times a week, typically at the start and end of the week, Sunday or Monday, or Friday or Saturday. It just depends.

Right now I am home alone as Marjorie went out for brunch with Autumn which isn't bad. I like knowing my two favorite people are getting along, which is funny to be as they are two totally different people but hey, they get along so I will take it.

I rummage through my closet for my jumper but I can't find it meaning Marjorie wore it out or it is in the wash, regardless of which I am now stressed out. I can't go to my meeting without my jumper. It just feels wrong to wear fitting clothes to a support group meeting for eating disorders. I don't want someone to be triggered by my body.

I am pulled from my thoughts by my phone ringing. I see Marjorie calling me. I pick it up.

R- "Hey you."

M- "Hi darling, me and Autumn just finished brunch and are going to run out to do some things before parting ways. Do you need anything?"

I think on her question, I don't need anything but I need my jumper. Do I ask? No. I can't be more of a burden, it is just a jumper.

R- "nope I am all good here."

I lied to her. I am not good here. I am on the verge of breaking down, all over a jumper.

M- "Well alright my love I will talk to you when you are home from your meeting then."

R- "See you then, I love you."

M- 'I love you too Darling, Bye."

R- "Bye gorgeous."

I sit down at the table after hanging up the phone, I bury my head in my hands. I am on the verge of tears. Why is this happening, it is all over a stupid jumper. I shake my leg slightly as I feel like my throat is closing on me and my breathing becomes short and ragged, I very quickly realize I am going to have a full blown anxiety attack over this jumper if I do not calm down.

I want to give up. There is almost no point to this anymore, there is no damn point. Aut, and Marj would be better off without the burden of me, my eating disorder. My dad wouldn't be sad, my mom wouldn't ever find out. Carly has Marjoire, Mia has Aut and Majorie. Everyone has someone to support them, meaning no one, not one person would be sad, not one person will miss me.

This is what I want. I want to be gone. Marjorie won't be home for a few hours still and I am going to take full advantage of that, I am going to make everyone's lives better and not be here, not let anyone have to worry about me. I can't be a burden if I am gone.

I get up and walk over to the kitchen counter and open a draw, pulling out paper, and envelopes.I start to write letters to anyone I can think of mostly all apologizing for being a bad person, being a burden to everyones, I start to write Aut's and it almost makes me feel sick to do but I have to do it I can't let her think this is all her fault.

After I get the letters done it is about 11:32AM I leave the letters laid out on the table names written on the envelopes. I go upstairs into the bathroom and grab a bottle of pills and a razor. I head to the guest bedroom and put a sign I made on the door saying I am in there, and I do not want my loved ones to come in the room, just the paramedics and police as I know when Marjorie see's the letters she will start looking for me and she doesn't need to see me like that.

I no hesitation start taking the razor apart and taking the blades across my skin trying to go as deep as I physically can, cutting myself in places I know there are major arteries trying my best to hit them, which I did not I only could get as deep as my fat layer. I leave no place on my body unmarked.

I start getting dizzy alone from the blood loss, and just as I take the bottle of pills I have swallowed every single pill, I hear the front door open and close then nothing for a moment. I hear someone walking around and it isn't Aut or Marjorie. I suddenly hear a male voice and just as I do my ears start to ring and my legs give out from under me, making me hit the floor.

I hear the voice again a little more clearly now. God no.

It is Winter.

I hear winter wandering around upstairs frantically looking for me as he no doubt saw the notes on the kitchen table when he walked in, and as soon as I start to lose consciousness I feel a hand on mine and see winter crouching over me with his phone to his ear.

A/N: I would just like to remind everyone that if something is happening to you like this, call a crisis number or your local emergency number. Remember it does get better and it is important to seek help when you need it.