fourteen (south park fanfiction)

Can't be Saved

Cartman loved to admit it, and it was that his plan was working.

But, it wasn't long until Kyle realized what was going on. It started when he went to look up the numbers and letters on his vitamins and pills to see the exact name and side effects and figure out if random weight gain was one. Instead, when he searched the code, he found out what he was really taking and knew exactly who was behind it.

"That fucking asshole!"

Kyle couldn't believe it. He gained 30 pounds and it was because of Cartman! While he didn't get "fat" like Cartman wanted, he did gain a bit and it was noticable. He quickly repurchased his actual medications and hid them in his room. He wasn't too worried about losing the weight since he was in sports, but now he probably had to hit the gym with it and could probably lose it in a month.

As soon as he found out, he texted Stan.

...

Kyle: Cartman replaced my medications with weight gain supplements.

Stan: What?

Kyle: I hate that fat ass so fucking much. 

Stan: Are you gonna get him back?

Kyle: Yup. He pissed me off.

Stan: What are you gonna do?

Kyle: I don't know. But I'm gonna find something.

...

Stan knocked on Kyle's door, and laughed when he opened it. "You'll never guess what I found out."

"What?" Kyle asked, as Stan came inside.

"So it was both Butters and Cartman. Cartman wanted to mess with you, and Butters came up with the plan."

"Butters too? I thought I could trust that asshole."

Stan shrugged.

Kyle nods. "You know what? I'm gonna be mature about this and let karma do it's thing.  Anytime I try to get back at him, it always comes back to me. Maybe if I don't for once, he'll suffer instead."

Stan shrugs. "You do you, I guess."

Stan hated to admit it, but he wasn't too interested in Kyle's issues at the moment. He was currently having more withdrawal symptoms.

"Hey, uh I gotta go but I'll see you." Stan says, as he heads to his car. He pulled out his phone and dialed Craig's phone number as it rang.

"What, asshole?"

Stan smiled. "Hey, I need to buy some stuff of you."

"No can do." Craig says. "I'm like, out of the country for a month. You know, for the space club at school? We're going to-"

"What? Where are you right now?"

"I'm heading to the airport?"

"Okay, what if you head back and-"

"Stan. I said no. Bye." Craig hung up as Stan groaned.

"Fuck."

He went to Cartman's house to see if he could help him out, knocking out it loudly.

"Dude, what are you pounding on the door for?" Clyde says, as he opened the door for Stan.

"I need to see Cartman, like, now."

Clyde rolled his eyes. "Cartman, Stan's here for you!" He shouted. Cartman walked downstairs confused. "Stan? What do you want?"

"Look, dude. Craig's out of town for like a month and I don't know any other dealers, okay? I need you to give me drugs, any at all. I just need a good high. I'll buy them from you, I have money."

Cartman shook his head. "I'm sorry Stan, but my answer is no."

Stan raised his brows. "What? But you have some, I know you do! I'll pay double if you want."

Cartman shook his head at Stan again. "No, dude. It's not about cost. You're just completely addicted and I'm not being a part of that and helping you become worse."

Stan groaned at him, rolling his eyes. "What? You do drugs as well!"

Cartman nods. "Yeah, I do. But I'm not like you. I don't get as crazy as you without them. I mean, how bad are your withdrawal symptoms? You were deadass throwing up and had a fever just from not having anything for a couple days."

Stan huffed at Cartman, as he wiped his runny nose. "This is just a cold." He lies, as Cartman rolls his eyes at him. "The answer is no, Stan. Now leave the house." 

"No! I'm not leaving until you sell me something."

"I'm not selling you anything!" Cartman yells. "Take the fucking hint."

"Then I'm not leaving."

"Alright, we can play like that." Cartman says. "Clyde, get Stan out of here."

Clyde nods. "Sorry dude, he's right." He says as he opens the front door and pulls Stan towards, trying to escort him out. Stan pushes Clyde roughly as he yells at Cartman.

"You know, I would think out of all people, you would've helped me out." Stan says, jabbing a finger into Cartman's chest.

"Okay? Well first, don't push Clyde for no reason. And second, I'm not helping you kill yourself, Stan. And I DO know out of all people, that's why I'm not helping you. I know what addiction feels like and-"

"Bullshit, you're just an asshole." Stan says, his eyes teary. 

"Stan?"

Stan turns his head and sees Kyle in the driveway.

"Kyle? What are you-"

"Enough." Kyle says, his emerald eyes watering a clear glaze. "Are you still fucking using? You keep telling me you quit, yet I get a text from Cartman and Clyde saying that I need to come get you because you're harassing them for drugs and refusing to leave because they won't sell to you?"

"I wouldn't buy from them usually, Craig's gone so-"

"Stop it, Stan!" Kyle yells. "I don't even recognize you anymore! You've become an entirely different person. What happened to when we would play video games at each others house? When we would play superheros? All you do now is this shit!"

"Kyle, wait!" 

Stan chased after Kyle outside in the sidewalk, as Kyle turned to him.

"What, Stan?"

"I'm sorry." Stan says, frowning. "I really am. I promise, I'm trying to get better, okay?"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Stan." Kyle responds. "Do you know how hard it is seeing my best friend of my whole life go through this? And knowing I don't wanna leave your side but I also don't wanna support this or be near it?"

"Oh, really? Imagine how hard it is being me!" Stan shouts.

"Stan, I'm being so serious. I don't wanna lose you. If I did, I would kill myself for not being a good enough best friend."

"Fuck off." Stan said. "So it would be for your own benefit?"

"That's not how I meant it." Kyle shouts.

"Sure..."

Kyle groaned, as a sad smile came across his face. "You win. Just know I love you, Stan. Sorry I couldn't save you."