Sorry Not Sorry

- 23 🦆

"If that's the case I know nothing." He says, standing up. "I'll talk to you later, Xay."

I bury my head in my knees again as he begins to walk away, but I reach my arm out and stop him, grabbing his wrist. "I... My mother, she's here... My biological one."

-

I sit on the park bench, twiddling my thumbs anxiously. I wish he'd just hurry up. I just finished cleaning up the studio, and I decided to ask Max to come here, to the park.

Finally I see him approach "Max? You came!" I say, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Of course I did, you asked me to." He smiles, sitting down on the bench next to me, overlooking the duck's swimming in the pond.
"What did you want to talk-"

"I'm sorry about the other day." I say, squeezing my eyes shut. "You trust me and care for me and get I still act up. We barely got any time together and I also yelled at you. I ruined your fun time and ruined everything. You know how I am, but that doesn't give me any excuses. I understand if you never forgive me. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I'll try my hardest..." I ramble, my eyes still squeezed shut.

"Xay... " he mumbles. I look up at him with wet eyes."You didn't do anything."

"But I did! I-" Max pulls me into a hug, wrapping himself round me. "Max?"

"You didn't do anything, and I don't blame you." I break down in tears, wetting his shoulder.

"What am I supposed to do?" I cry, squeezing his back. "What if she saw me? Would she even recognise me?"

"Of course not." Max says, pulling away from the hug. "You were a child. You saw her grown, but she never got to see you grow. So she won't recognise you."

"You really think?"

He nods. "Yep. Now, how about ice cream?" I heard that van does killer Neapolitans." He points off into the distance.

-

"Mmm. Whoops." I wipe a drip of chocolate off my chin. "There really are... What did you say? Killer?"

"Shuddup." He says punching my arm.

I pop the last bit of the ice cream into my mouth and lean back in my seat. I gaze up at the sky, the incoming clouds.

Max's phone dings and he pulls it out. I see him slowly read the message before typing a reply. "I better not keep you," I say. "I think it's going to rain soon..."

"Yeah... I wish I could stay here, but I have to go." He sighs, standing up.

"See you later, Max." I say, also standing.

"See ya!" Max waves while walking away.

-

I don't quite like that fact that my eyes decided they needed to cry in front of Max, but they did. It's pathetic, really. I'm pathetic.

I flop down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. My head feels kind of... Empty. My phone dings and I pick it up. 'I feel bad about not being with you, do you wanna hang out tonight? I know one of Kitty's friends are throwing a party tonight'

'You don't need to feel bad for me' I say

'I don't feel bad for you, I just feel like a bad friend' Max replies. 'And I'd love to just have some fun with you, we don't even need to think about anything outside the party, or anyone else who's in the party'

I roll my eyes with a chuckle. 'easy for you to say, they all hate me.'

'They hated you because you didn't like me too much at the start. But we're friends now'

'.... ' I'm unsure of what to say.

'what can I say to convince you? Oh, also not trying to pressure or anything...'

'It's ok, I'll think about it.'

'Well, I'll be going anyway, I'll be there at 6 soo..... I'll send the address. Night.'

'Gn' I respond.

-

I wasn't planning on going to a party, so I wasn't prepared with anything g to wear, so I just dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, as well as a silver chain around my neck. I pull my shoes on and leave the house.

I walk up the street. The house this party is at is only a few blocks away, so I figured I'd just walk.

After maybe ten minutes of walking, I stand in front of the house. I walk in the open door and look around. "Who are you?" A voice says from beside me.

"Oh!" I startle. "I'm a friend of... Max's?"

"Oh. Xavier, right?" She says. "The main party is in there. I'm waiting here just to make sure no randos get in." She chuckles. "Just go through that Hall... Into the living room." She explains. "I'm Sadee by the way, I'm the sister of the guy who owns this house."

"Cool. Thanks for having me." I say, walking down the hallway.

Surprisingly for me, it's not like any teenager party's, although we are still near that age, it's more mature. The music is at a low level for us to hear and not the neighbors, and it's only really twenty or so people.

I stand awkwardly at the doorway, watching the crowd of people near the couch. I bite my lip anxiously.

"Xavier!" Max says, jogging out from the people. "You came!"

"Yeah." I say, "I had nothing better to do."  I scratch the back of my head sheepishly.

"Well come on, we were about to do spin the bottle truth of date edition." He says, and after noticing my worried face, says "don't worry, if you don't want to do or say something you don't need to." He smiles, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to the cultish circle gathered near the couch.

We sit down in the circle, Max on my left and another guy on my right. "Hey, are you a friend of Max's?" He asks.

"Oh... Yeah." I say.

"Cool! Any friend of his is a friend of mine!" He reaches out a fist to fist bump me. I bump it back with a laugh.

"Ok guys, let's get started!" Someone places the bottle in the centre, spinning it. "To see who starts..."

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