In the Melancholy Moonlight, Part 5: Dark Matter

Chapter 276: You're On Your Own, Kid

A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter is essentially just a love letter to Hermione Jean Granger and anyone who's ever felt seen because of her. You're not alone. You are loved. You are worth more than what you can do for others. You have value just by existing in all of your fullness. Thank you for being here.

🩵💛❤️💜🩷

LUCY:

I was keeping watch when Hermione appeared, arms still crossed tightly over her chest. I wondered offhandedly if she'd loosened her arms at all over the course of the night.

"Good morning," I said, trying to keep my tone as neutral as possible.

Hermione hummed as she started pacing back and forth in front of me. "Is it? Is it really?"

"I'd say so. Are they both arses? Yes. But are they both safe and sleeping soundly? Yes. I would consider this a net positive."

Hermione hummed again. "You would, would you?"

"Yes." I pushed myself to my feet and went to stand in front of Hermione, who halted abruptly as anger flashed in her eyes. I stood my ground, crossing my arms over my chest, mimicking her posture. Hermione's anger often scared me, and it often hurt me, but I refused to let it bother me in that moment — there had been enough strife overnight to last us for at least another couple hours, until Ron woke up and Hermione had her favorite punching bag once again. "You're glad he's back."

"No, I never wanted to see him again," Hermione argued. "He's caused nothing but anguish whether he's here or not, he should have never showed his face again — "

"Harry would have died without him," I replied simply. "Harry and the sword and the locket would be in the bottom of whatever frozen pool he found last night, and we would have woken up even more alone and even more scared and even more lost than we already are. I know you're angry, and you have every right to be, but don't tell me you would rather have Harry dead and your anger fully justified than Harry alive and Ron back bearing the sword of Gryffindor and the destroyed locket and your anger slightly complicated by the fact that Ron did something good and helpful."

Hermione huffed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe so. Talk to me, then, so I can understand," I said with a shrug.

Hermione's steely glare faltered, and she looked down at her feet, arms crossed ever tighter. "You're so — so understanding it's infuriating."

"I'm... sorry?" I replied, at a loss for how else to respond.

"Ron left us, he abandoned us, and that's okay, because he got lucky and saved Harry's life when he was idiotic enough to endanger it in the first place," Hermione spat. "Harry could have killed Draco with the same spell that nearly killed you, but that's okay, because you love him more than you love me — "

"Hermione — " I tried to interrupt, but she wasn't done yet.

"Why are you so willing to play devil's advocate for everyone except me?" Hermione half-cried, half-shouted, glaring at me through tear-filled eyes.

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not perfect," Hermione continued with the same high-pitched desperation, "I know that, trust me, but it feels like you're so quick to forgive everyone's faults except mine."

"If this is about what happened with Marietta Edgecombe last year, I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry about the silent treatment, I'm sorry you got hurt because of it. I'm being more forgiving of Ron right now and I was more forgiving of Harry back in May than I was of you, that's true, because I unfortunately had to learn the hard way that my anger leads to people I love getting hurt and I don't want what happened to you to happen to anyone else. I didn't want it to happen to you in the first place, but I can't — I can't go back and change that, as much as I wish I could. All I can do is try to be better moving forward, so history doesn't repeat itself with anyone else, or with you again."