Angustifolium

CH-28

Orm stood at Lingling's door. There was no answer. She tried the doorbell thrice now. Either Lingling never came home from the bar or she was ignoring her. Orm wiped at the tears that weren't stopping. Her flight was in 3 hours. She hated how all of this had panned out. She hated... herself for letting this happen. And now Lingling didn't want to be near her.

Orm didn't want to think about being so far away from Lingling and not being able to reach her.

Surely Lingling would forgive her... right? Maybe she needed some time? Did Lingling think Orm was still in love with Toey? That couldn't be right.

Orm thought about how she admitted to Lingling today that she'd heard her say I love you, but never really mentioned she had an intention of saying it back, or that she had similar feelings. Could Lingling have assumed she doesn't feel the same way?

Orm couldn't help the way her thoughts wandered...

But she'd asked Lingling to be her girlfriend. Lingling should know she would never do that unless she felt something for her right. Why else would she ask her that? Why else would she take that step?

Orm missed Lingling. With her whole heart, mind, body and soul. She wanted to be close to her, she wanted to feel her near, she wanted to hold her, but she'd hurt her. And she'd humiliated her. And Orm hated that Lingling couldn't stand her a second longer, that she wanted to be far away from her.

To the extent that she'd cut her calls, switched her phone off, and was now probably a couple of feet away from her behind that door and wouldn't even open it.

"Lingling?" Orm tried calling out once more, with some hope that if Lingling was on the other side that she would be listening

"Lingling?.. Lingling I love you.. God! I love you so much.." Orm cried bitterly "I've never loved anyone the way I love you... please let me in Teerak... let me explain..."

She got no answer.

Orm eventually walked away, feeling like a fool. Like the worst girlfriend on this earth. She went home, completed her packing, got showered and dressed, and left.

Just before entering the gates at the airport, she looked around. She didn't know what she was expecting. Or rather she knew, and she knew it was a ridiculous expectation too.

The tears started to come back. Her eyes brimming. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She had such a long day ahead. A long day of meetings. She needed to be okay. She sent Lingling a text.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. For everything, Teerak. Please call me. I hate how we left things. I hate that I have to go."

***

Lingling woke up, and looked around. She was at Win's place. She remembered entering Win's house, but couldn't remember how she got there.

She remembered narrating everything to Win in her drunken stupor. She also remembers she was slurring so much at one point Win cut her off the alcohol, and gave her a glass of water. And then another.

And thank god for Win, because at least her hangover today didn't include a headache. Just a sick feeling.

Lingling looked at the clock on Win's living room wall. 12 noon. Fuck. She searched for her phone, it wasn't on her, she got up from the couch and looked around