Chapter 21: I know I fucked up!

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This one is from Rohan's POV..planning to write one with Raj's POV too...keep reading...comment on dis one plse...n i need you to share my stroy with others...❤❤ ------------I felt so guilty throughout the entire trip. We reached two days back at Jaisalmer. It was our last day of the trip. She was still angry with me. But she had the right to be angry.

I had hurt her feelings. I felt guilty, sad and embarrassed. She was one of the rare persons who cared for me and I shun her away because of my idiotic-ness.

That night when I screamed on her, I felt so guilty that I banged her room door for more than an hour but she didn't open and after loosing hope, I returned to my room but I couldn't sleep. The entire night I thought, I had blown up everything I had with her, which was too painful to bear.

Every time I tried to go near her so that I could apologize, Jai would stand like a human barrier in front of me. He wasn't speaking properly to me either. I was too rude to Tina, I knew it and I was ready to apologize a million times till she forgave me.

She didn't like me in a romantic kind of way, she always thought of me a good friend and I couldn't even be a good friend to her. My mind was blowing up because she wasn't around me.

I was so used to her being around her, I needed her. I knew I had strong feelings for her, maybe I was falling for her. I think I fell for her the first time I saw her.

She had seen me with Natasha the first time-awkward, but I never felt that way for Nat, no matter how hard I tried since a year. I felt more for Tina in a short time. I agree I fucked Nat occasionally, but that was because she would initiate it and then I couldn't control myself.

I couldn't even focus on the project we were working on, I was waiting for the moment when she would speak to me normally. What if she must have told Raj about the incident?

Raj wouldn't let it go if he knew. I hated him since what happened last year. And I felt he was taking Tina away from me.

I hated the fact that she always gave him importance over me. It was a difficult sight for me to see them together, don't know why! Especially the day when I saw them so close, my blood boiled. She was with him despite of me warning her to be away from her.

I felt broken when Raj cheated with my girlfriend. And in that state, I went and screwed up with Nat. She was my close friend and I didn't want her to leave me, I felt responsible for her and that's why I was still with her.

She was the one who brought me back from being extreme after my breakup. I got beaten up getting in a brawl with wrong people, tried ecstasy, pot, extreme drinking and what not. She saved me, she helped me become normal.

I wanted to tell her how I felt about her, but I knew I didn't have the courage to do so. I wanted to touch her as if she was mine. I wanted to have that right on her.

The time when I saw her in her towel, I felt aroused. She looked so beautiful, so ethereal always.

Would she ever feel the same for me? I was waiting for the time when she would forgive me. I would make it all right.

But I was always messed up in life. And weirdly, it was linked to my brother. Someone shook my by hand and was back realizing I was just thinking and ignoring what Natasha was saying.

"Sorry! I was thinking about something. What were you saying?" asking her with a grin. Since it was our last day, we were free and shopping. I wasn't shopping, I just accompanied Nat and the others to shop.

"Nothing! You're never interested in shopping I know! It's of no use talking to you on the topic." She said with a sigh. She didn't know about the incident about Jai and Tina and I didn't intend to tell her.

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