The Alpha Licked My Face?!

(16) Self-Conflict and Cyborgs.

As I sat in the food court of the mall, eating a deep dish dessert pizza with berries, chocolate sauce and ice cream, I thought to myself.

What if he wasn't my soulmate, or whatever. What if it was all lust and me not thinking. A cleverly brewed 'love potion' to trick me.

I feel ashamed just thinking that, but what if it were true? That he was just playing me, to get something, from me? That it was a joke that had gone on for far too long. A joke that he'd tire of quickly, soon leaving me altogether.

No! No, no, no! That's not true. He'd never do that. He'd never trick me. Never rufie me. But what if - NO! I can't think like that. He is my mate and I love him. Or have. Will. DO!

I'm going insane. I need to get out. To practice my condition. It had always helped clear my head. Despite the torture they'd put me through to get it to stay in me.

Dark times, some that will happen again. Maybe not to me. Maybe to my children, or my grandchildren. Hell! It might even be a stranger.

I could never have a normal life with these things inside me. They would be my salvation. Or they would be my bane.

Either way, they are a curse. An abomination of science. Something that should only exist in Sci-fi movies and novels. Or in the X-Men, or X-files, or something like that. Because right now I'm kind of like wolverine after his skeleton was exchanged for a stronger one. A metal one.

I'm almost the equivalent of a cyborg, just no glowing red eyes. There are powers that come with what's in me, some not so good. Enticement, speed and strength, among others that I am yet to discover.

I guess that's what happens when the world is full of sick, malicious, evil, cunning, twisted sons of bitches. Good, innocent people are experimented on, and for what? Science! A new generation of the human race! It's absolutely sickening!

And to think that I, an average girl from California, have become something that makes me want to murder myself and whoever did this to me.

I can't go on planes and anything that uses a metal detector to scan for weapons without it completely shitting itself because I have a metal skeleton. I mean, how do you explain that?

Oh yeah officers, when I was 15 I was kidnapped and tortured, and my skeleton was completely replaced with a metal one that make magnets, metal detectors and others things shit themselves. Oh yea that'll go down well!

God, this sounds like a sappy, passive-aggressive, sci-fi, cyborg movie thing.

Also, how do I explain cuts on my elbows, knees, ankles, feet, and hands from getting a sharp knife and cutting down to the metal, to wipe away the dried blood from inside the metal joints that makes them creak. Thank god one of the good things about this is healing. I heal about 100x faster than a normal human being.

But what's normal anymore? I mean, there are werewolves, vampires, ghosts, hell! There are Gods for pete's sake! Then there are people like me and good ol' Wolverine. People with metal skeletons and a bunch of issues.

God! I am one messed up son of a bitch.