(14) A Scar That Will Never Fade

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(Nick and Ashes birthday and day of the Alpha ceremony)

I wake up in my bed, forehead dripping with sweat, eyes red and puffy from tears and body shaking like no tomorrow.

I'd had another nightmare.

Dream

The cells walls were made of concrete and were plain. No colour apart from splotches of dried blood.

It was a torture chamber.

In the middle of the room was a bed with arm rests, and ropes attached to where your chest, legs, wrists and ankles were going to go.

I had been on that bed too many times. It was my blood that painted the walls. Bullet casings from when they passed through my flesh, blood, bone and muscle.

I've got the scars to prove it.

I remember them all. All too clearly. As if it were happening to me right at that moment. The symbol branded on my upper thigh from a red hot branding iron.

A scar that will never fade.

That was the worst. Not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain. It would never fade. It would never go away. Even if I got it removed surgically, the brand would still be on my bone, where the branding iron was kept there, burning and burning till it reached bone.

A pain I took willingly, to save the one I loved most.

End of dream

I got out of bed, grabbed a towel and went and had a shower.

(20 minutes later)

I'd had a shower, got dressed into khaki shorts that went to my knees and a green shirt. I pulled my hair into a pony tail and looked at my alarm clock.

6:25am

There is still an hour and a half roughly till the sun rises.

Plenty of time to get Nick and go on the walk.

I put everything I needed in my backpack such as a water bottle, my digital camera, my sketchbook and pencils, some snacks to eat when we got hungry, a jacket, sunglasses and Nicks present put in an old-style box that had black and white pictures of postcards, landscapes and landmarks.

I walked downstairs, grabbed and apple and put a note on the bench for mum saying I'd gone and to tell her roughly when I'd be back.

Then I walked out the door walked out the door.

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