A Bloody Smile In The Dark

Heads above the water while they drown in the under tow

Months went by without anyone openly addressing that dooms day. Words were barely spoken, with only recurring pants audible. The whole city seemed to have suffered a setback from it; the sun didn't shine the same. We've all been giving our best helping construction workers put the lab back together, but the sense of impotence and defeat lingered heavily upon us. Years of crime solving went ablaze; the worst part being not knowing whose hands wanted it and why.

Now, as we sit in circle sipping on some coffee in what remains of the leisure area, predictions and assumptions of guilt make room for literally anyone. From strangers to whichever one of us. Talks of a mole breaking through have been weaving for some time, all signs pointing to either Penny or myself. Personally I'm flooded by questions every second that goes by. It feels like we all have skeletons in our dirty closets, and it's only a matter of time before they burst out rebelling against us.

Alter boys, alter boys, we're the things that life destroyed

"He was everything I ever wanted in a man. No, enough with the salt...you know..bad boy with a discreet sensitivity, overall nice and rough in bed..add the tomatoes now, please. Yes. I mean..i wouldn't have had a kid with him if I didn't picture us to be together on the long run. Okay, let's leave it boil"

"Middle flame? Cool. You don't have to justify yourself to my eyes, or anyone's for that matter. You did what you wanted to do. You were in love, weren't you?"

We've been trying to fix dinner for a good hour now, but we just can't seem to find some pace. Cal was kind enough to answer a lot of my doubts and I, in return, listened quietly to her venting about all that went wrong in her action movie worthy life. She abruptly stopped stirring the polenta powder, letting me know what that man did to her. Honestly it's pretty scary to trust a person with your heart, no holding back, only to see all your dreams and future plans thrown out the window overnight.

"What's a man who rips a child away from her mother though? And on what counts?"

"My job. I don't solve crimes the classic way. I kill people, V. I bribe, threaten and..and..."

"It's not a conventional type of bread winning, so the fuck what? You're a terrific mother bending over backwards to make ends meet no matter what. Not to mention you kill people because you have to and they're scum. Oh, and you're authorized by the way. It's all perfectly legal"

"I often work beyond shift, so I'm not around as much as I would love to. But the main reason is that what I do is too dangerous and I may not even make it back home in the evening to begin with"

"Oh I see. This scary woman is serving the city fighting crime with little to no warranties of having her back covered in case something bad happens to her because it's too expensive to cop a special insurance for that. You know what? I know what to do! Let's deprive her of her brood and make her work even more to pay child support to a fucking pathetic excuse of a sperm donor instead. It's not fair, Angel. Nope"

"Now..that's blunt"

"It is what it is. Why was he in for the whole thing anyway?"

"He won't pick up the damn phone. I can only guess. It's not the first time he plots against us"

"Fun guy, I see. You shouldn't let him get away with it. Not so easily"

I'd walk through fire for this woman and deep down I've known since day one I'd find myself embroiled in one big hell of a mess if I let myself care.

I walk into the dining room ready to serve some appetizers to a small group of wonderfully bruised humans who gracefully allowed me to marvel at their over-the-top antics and partake. It looks now they need a little push to climb over the last step to a well earned peace of mind. If I can't find mine, I will fight to help them uncover theirs. I know I will have my own solace too then.