A Bloody Smile In The Dark

And then you'll ask me how i'm doing like you know how much better off i am

Oh how I envy average people! Nothing but the same ol' regular routine between work and family. Praise the mighty bliss of educating oneself through tv and newspapers, never for a second questioning what's imposed. Beloved ignorance!

I never settled for these limitations, I wanted to become important and do something to be remembered for when I'm gone. Reason number one why my mother fled Georgia was exactly the lack of open mentality in which her aspirations bloomed. She felt confined, restrained, forcibly pushed along a path she knew wasn't hers and, most importantly, didn't want to become mine as well. So she ran away breaking the cycle; i wasn't gonna let her down.

"What about accidents?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah...i was run over by cars and buses about a dozen times in total. Fell from chairs, stairs, banged head against doors, walls....fists..."

"Well that took an unexpected turn. However I'm pretty positive that although all of it hurt, that alone can't lead to organ failures"

"I know you don't do this anymore but it's haunting me; where did i go wrong?"

"Baby...the causes could be plenty. You need to let them admit you and perform complete tests to determine the main one. You'll be fine, sweetie. Look at you, you're here! Outside, in the real world, grabbing coffee with your friend at your favorite spot by the beach.."

"Looking like an idiot..."

"Pardon me? An idiot? You're not supposed to look like a freaking supermodel the whole damn time, especially when you ain't at the peak of your health. You look great honey, believe me"

"Nah Juds. You don't look great, you're fucking hot! You sexy beotch"

"Ron..."

"What? I call it like I see it"

When things go well, either you sold your soul to the devil or are in complete denial over the actual state of ongoing matters; or both. But although you can dictate this choice, you can't plan the aftermath. Life tends to make you bitter through a series of challenging trials and if you're not in control of your emotions, it's capable of destroying you entirely from within.

"Thought you were at work"

"Thought you were too"

My baby girl is a wrecked woman now, with not much to be done to relieve her cosmic distress. She's undergone plenty of ordeals in the nine years here, mostly out of her own will, but also found a new light in living she wasn't aware of craving. I'm terribly proud of her and her achievements, and I know that deep down so is she. However lately she just can't seem to filter her opinions before they leave her mouth and it's inevitably causing some tension in our family. She's flat, apathetic, numb and the few times she speaks it's mostly mean. Her husband's become like that too, just like their best friend. Their eyes are void, dim and haven't seen a smile in far too long. It's heartbreaking.

"It's my fault. I needed a ride to the clinic and Nya volunteered"

"Jim?"

"He's at a meeting with a sponsor. Hopefully we'll be able to export our products countrywide soon"

"Woah. That's crazy cool. You go, guys!"

"Ain't it! What about you? Care to tell us what's up in between chomps?"

"Dude, these cookies are the bomb. Well I switched shifts with Ry so I could make it to the hospital"

"They're still not letting you do it home?"

"Said my veins are too messy"

"Oh. Makes sense"

"Didn't you and Ry work same hours? Since when you split them?"