BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2018

Chapter 75- Grown-Up Conversations

September 16th, 2018:

The HanbinxY/N rumours and scandal was finally starting to die down, in part thanks to Hanbin who said he didn't like all the drama and scandal and thought people should move on now he's said it was "obviously" not true. I was bit miffed I hadn't been able to voice this beforehand to kill the rumours even faster but that was Big Hit's policy now with dating: no response, even if fake, we would just let it die down on its own. I was thankful Hanbin had spoken up though. Wish he would've done it a bit sooner, but it was better than nothing.

We'd just finished the final Fort Worth concerts and we're finally headed to Canada. The concerts had gone quite well, other than the fact that people seemed to have started to enjoy throwing things onstage. While Taehyung and Jungkook had also been victims, I was by far the most popular target. Someone in Oakland had, what I assume to be jokingly, thrown a box of condoms at my face, narrowly missing my eye. I'd had two stuffed animals thrown towards me, with only one actually hitting me, on the first night in Fort Worth. And finally, at tonight's show someone threw a ring box, a stuffed toy keychain, and more condoms in a baggie this time. Hoseok, after yesterday's show had mentioned on his live to not throw things onstage, but that hadn't deterred some it seemed. It was finally decided that a message would be read before every concert now, with a clear warning that all those who threw things would be removed from the stadium. Big Hit had also released a press statement telling people to stop throwing things and that those who did would be severely punished.

"I don't understand why you aren't losing your sh*t," Jimin says shaking his head as we made to leave the arena in Fort Worth.

"Yeah, you're going to get really hurt one of these days," Namjoon frowns.

"You guys wouldn't understand," I say quietly, focusing on my phone not wanting to talk more about this given it had been the center of several of our conversations already.

I was still standing by what I had told Hoseok before. I was still embroiled in a dating scandal where despite my growth as a celebrity and respected figure, I was still the bad guy somehow. There had already historically been moments where I had been called ungrateful and entitled. I didn't want to start anything more. I had been dragged far too much to casually start saying things, even if they were to defend myself. I felt like I didn't have that luxury, and even if there was a chance I did, I didn't want to risk it. A small part of me knew I wasn't being rational, but that's what years of constant, incessant hate did to a person.

"No, I really don't," Hoseok shakes his head upset, "we're performers, not target practice. You have to tell them to stop".

"You've said something, the company's released a statement... I don't think me saying something is really gonna change these people's minds," I say, continuing to text my response to Kevin who was keeping me in the loop on his proposal plans.

"Y/N, why aren't you taking this seriously?" Hoseok questions, waving his hand in front of my face so interrupting my view of my phone.

"I am taking it seriously," I say, looking up at him with a hard stare, "but I'm just coming off of a rough dating scandal, I don't need any more hate or whatever right now, okay".

"What are you talking about?" Jimin says baffled, "what hate? Telling people to stop throwing sh*t at you? Who'd hate you for that?"