BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2018

Chapter 11- Hell on Earth

March 16th, 2018:

After a bit, I got myself collected emotionally with Yoongi constantly reassuring me and Yoona arrived to pick me up. We dropped off my stuff and Inigo at her place before going to the company. I stayed with Inigo at her place for a bit to make sure he was acclimating well, and to act as my therapy animal before I knew I had to go and be professional.

When we got nearer to the building, you could see a small contingent of men, around ten, holding signs outside. As we got closer I could read what was written on the signs. "Death to Lee Y/N", "The real victim is Kang Daeseong", "Save our country, say no to feminism", "Lee Y//N is a femin*zi". I could hear them chanting "justice for Kang Daeseong" as Yoona parked.

I couldn't help but stare. It obviously hurt to see and hear the whole spectacle, but it was the sign saying Daeseong was the real victim that hit the hardest. How anyone could believe that was beyond me and it just twisted the knife already in my heart place by Daeseong even more. They didn't even know him, how could they be defending him? He had hurt me, from the looks of it, beyond repair and they had the gall to call him the victim. It made me sick.

"Y/N, come on, let's head inside," Yoongi said softly, touching my arm to get me to come.

"Wha-, oh yes, sorry," I said, having still been staring at the men outside. Didn't they have jobs to be at? Families to care for? Lives to live?

Iseul had opened the door for us so by the time I'd gotten inside, the men hadn't even noticed me.

"We called the police earlier," Yoona says sounding upset as we got into an elevator, "Looks like they're taking their sweet time coming over".

"When has the police ever been that receptive to my safety," I roll my eyes.

"I mean they have a sign with a clear death threat," Yoongi says angrily, "seems pretty urgent to me".

I purse my lips, my heart aching, my mind reeling, and my emotions on the brink. We had rehearsals in the morning and then we were going to watch the Burn The Stage documentary which was going to be released at the end of the month, I had to keep a lid on this.

During rehearsals, I was making simple mistakes unable to focus, the thought of the men outside and the vulnerability of my home always at the back of my mind. I just had this unexplainable feeling in my heart. It was like it was being weighed down and squeezed at the same time. I never wanted this to become such a big thing again. This had gotten way out of control and I was once again feeling guilty to the group and confused about the whole thing. I was the sole victim, but could I have done things differently? Interacted with him less? Not made him special somehow? Had I even done that? I didn't know, I didn't know anything anymore. I thought I had been sure, but now I was thinking of it again... I didn't know.

No one got mad at me for my mistakes though. The boys were all trying to joke around and keep the environment light. It had little positive effect on me, however. I was already too much in my own mind. We stopped for some lunch, lunchboxes from a local Korean place. We all sat around the table in the lounge.

"What beverage excels in dance class?" Seokjin asked as he filled up his water bottle.

"You've said this one before," Jimin rolls his eyes.

"Tap water," Seokjin gives the answer regardless, laughing like he was telling it for the first time all over again.