GENESIS FOR GEN Z

CHAPTER 2

So, like, the sky and earth were all set up, with everything in them good to go.

By day seven, God was done with the project and hit pause, chilling from all the crafting he did. Day seven was boring as hell. God threw a blessing on day seven, making it extra special 'cause that was his relax and recharge day from all the epic creating. He was finally left to enjoy his kale juice.

Here's the lowdown on the sky and earth's family tree when they first got their start, back when the LORD God was doing the whole creation thing.

Before plants and herbs were even thinking about popping up, there wasn't a drop of rain or anyone to work the land. But the earth had this vibe, sending up a mist to keep things moist. The LORD God got crafty with some dust, breathed life into man, and voila, a living, breathing vibe check.

God got all gardener on us, planting this chill spot in Eden, east side, and dropped man there to enjoy the scenery. God went all out, making trees that were easy on the eyes and great for snacks, including the must-see tree of life and the don't-touch-this tree of knowledge.

Eden had this river for hydration, splitting off into four major streams to keep things flowing. First stream's Pison, rolling through gold-rich Havilah, where it's all glitter and spice. That gold was legit, and the land was also popping with bdellium and onyx stones. Second stream's Gihon, wrapping around Ethiopia. Third's Hiddekel, cruising east towards Assyria, and then there's Euphrates, the headline act.

The LORD God set man up in Eden to keep it tight and tidy. God was like, "Feel free to snack on anything, but...steer clear of the knowledge tree. That one's a no-go, or you're toast."

God thought, "Man can't always be sigma," and planned to set him up with a precious gyatt.

God sculpted every animal and bird from the ground and had them strut their gyatt in front of Adam to see what he'd call them. Whatever Adam called them, that name stuck. Adam got naming, but still hadn't found his perfect gyatt. So, God had Adam take a power nap, yoinked a rib, and crafted the perfect gyatt. God introduced her to Adam, who was like, "At last, someone who gets me!"

Adam was all, "She's part of my crew, we're naming her 'Woman' 'cause she was made from 'Man.'"

That's the OG reason a guy leaves his parents to team up with his wife, becoming the ultimate duo.

They were both just chilling in the buff, totally cool with it, no embarrassment, just pure, unfiltered realness.