GENESIS FOR GEN Z

CHAPTER 9

God hit up Noah and his sons with a blessing: "Go wild, multiply, and fill up the earth again. Every creature's gonna be shook by you guys—animals, birds, everything that crawls, and all the fish. They're all in your hands now. You can munch on any moving thing now, just like you do with veggies. I've made it all fair game for you. But don't go eating meat with its lifeblood still in it. That's where I draw the line. And hey, if anyone spills your blood, I'm holding everyone accountable—animals included. Human life is precious on my watch. If someone takes a life, their life gets taken too, 'cause humans are made in my image. But don't get it twisted, keep on growing your fam and make the earth pop with people again."

Then God was like, "Listen up, Noah and boys, I'm locking in a deal with you and your future fam, and it's not just you guys; it's a deal with every living creature that survived the flood with you. Promise time: I'm not gonna wipe out life with a flood again. Earth's safe from waterworld reruns. Here's a sign of our deal that'll last forever, I'm throwing my rainbow up in the clouds as a peace sign between us and earth. Whenever I bring clouds over and the rainbow shows up, that's me remembering our no-flood promise to every creature out there. Every time that rainbow's out, it's a reminder of our forever deal with all living beings."

God tells Noah, "That rainbow? That's our promise marker for everyone on earth."

Noah's sons, who left the ark, were Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Ham, he's Canaan's dad. These three were Noah's squad, and they're why we've got people all over the place now.

Noah turned farmer and kicked off a vineyard. Dude celebrated a bit too hard, ended up wasted and passed out in his tent. Ham, Canaan's dad, caught a glimpse of Noah's no-clothes situation and gossiped to his brothers. But Shem and Japheth were classy, walked in backwards with a blanket to cover their dad without peeking.

When Noah sobered up and found out what Ham had done, he was livid: "Canaan's cursed. He'll be the lowest servant to his brothers."

Then he was like, "Blessed be the LORD, the god of Shem, but Canaan will serve him. Japheth's gonna have it good, living large in Shem's tents, and Canaan? Still serving."

Noah had a solid 350 years post-flood. Totaling up, Noah hit 950 years before he logged off for good.