CHAPTER 4

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by VirtualCheese39

by VirtualCheese39

Adam and Eve got close, and boom, Cain was born. Eve was like, "Scored a man with the LORD's help." Next up, they had Abel. Abel was all about that shepherd life, while Cain was the OG farmer. Fast forward, and Cain hits up the LORD with some farm-to-table action as an offering. Abel, on the flip side, brought the top-tier cuts from his flock. The LORD was all about Abel's offering. But Cain's? Not so much. Cain got super salty, looking all kinds of down.

The LORD's like, "Why the long face, Cain? If you do good, you're all set. If not, sin's lurking, but you've got this." Basically, "Stay sharp, or sin's gonna try to boss you around, but you gotta keep it in check."

Cain and Abel were out in the fields when Cain decided to go full betrayal mode on Abel.

The LORD's like, "Cain, where's your bro at?" Cain plays dumb: "How should I know? Am I supposed to babysit him?"

The LORD's not having it: "Dude, what did you do? Abel's blood is literally calling out to me from the ground. Now you're cursed. The earth's not gonna be your buddy anymore because it soaked up your brother's blood from your hands. Farming's gonna be a bust for you. You're about to be the earth's most unwanted wanderer."

Cain's freaking out, "This is way too harsh. I can't handle this. You're making me invisible out here, and now everyone's out to get me."

The LORD's like, "Chill, if anyone goes after Cain, they'll wish they hadn't—seven times over." And he marked Cain so no one would mess with him. Cain left the LORD's VIP area and set up shop in Nod, east of Eden.

Cain and his wife got busy, and along came Enoch. Then Cain went all city planner and named the place after his kid. Enoch started a fam tree: Irad, then Mehujael, then Methusael, and finally, Lamech.

Lamech was all, "Why have one wife when you can have two?" Meet Adah and Zillah. Adah and Jabal; he was the tent and livestock guru. Jabal's bro, Jubal, was the music man, pioneering harps and organs. Zillah brought Tubalcain into the mix, a master at metalwork. And shoutout to his sis, Naamah.

Lamech to his wives: "Listen up, I ended a dude for wounding me, a young guy for just hurting me. If Cain's payback is a sevenfold deal, then for me, it's gotta be seventy-seven."

Adam and Eve went for another round and had Seth, because Eve was like, "God's giving me another shot after Cain did Abel dirty." Seth got a son named Enos. That's when peeps really started to hit up the LORD big time.