Pita, continued

Chap.6, The Author.

I had a harder time moving on from him than I would have liked. All of my friends were sympathetic and made the whole thing a lot easier. Maybe this is good, I thought, Now I can just focus on Haris. 

It was easier said than done. I tried, but every time I looked at Tanner, I would just feel the pain of rejection. I was exhausted. It was November now, and I was finally feeling the pain of October. Everything had been going and going and then just stopped all at once. I needed a while to catch up. It felt like my personality had reset completely. Over my time of crushing on Tanner, I gained a lot of confidence. Luckily, I don't think any had been lost, but there were some things I had lost since not talking to him anymore. (Unlike my dignity, which I was slowly regaining). I wasn't as carefree anymore, I felt less attractive, etc. But I think the worst part of it was seeing him every day and being reminded of all of the fun I had while friends with him, and how I would never have fun in the same way again. That's what made me really sad when I thought about it. I just kept reminding myself, "you're the write of your own story (literally). You are quite literally the author." I think it worked because eventually I just stopped being sad and my life began to fall int a new normal...

That was until one fateful Tuesday.

I hadn't cried much, throughout the whole thing. I kinda just laughed everything off like it didn't phase me. And although I might not have felt any pain, it was just bottling inside me, and I didn't know. So, a breakdown was inevitable eventually. The Friday before the week of "the fateful Tuesday" there was a football game. I went with Chloe again but really ended up hanging out with Adriana the whole time. We gathered in a group of people and the group just kind of kept growing. Even some little kids just came out of nowhere and joined too. It was incredibly windy which made for a great photo of Adriana dying in the wind. After a while, everyone in the group separated into their own small groups. Adriana and I were on group, and we sat off to the side on the pavement listening to sad music. We were both sad about our crushes that night. So I was crying about Haris and Adriana was crying about her crush. 

That Monday, me, Adriana, Michael S, Humza, and Colten all agreed to go bowling together on Tuesday since there was no school. Funny little story about Colten, both Adriana and I happened to like him at the time. I planned on telling him that Tuesday. I told him, and he rejected me. Big surprise, I was used to it. I then started crying into Adriana's shoulder. About ten minutes passed, and these girls came up to Colten while we were outside and asked for his snapchat. He gave it to them, while I was standing right there! That made me mad AND sad. So, I cried into Adriana's shoulder some more. After that whole fiasco, I went back to Adriana's house and Colten texted me a long apology, which was nice, I guess. We agreed to stay friends after that. I was excited to see me friends the next day at school, but...

You know that feeling you get in your throat before getting sick? Well, I felt that Tuesday night. And sure, enough I woke up Wednesday morning with a fever. But the timing could not have been more horrible. That Friday was November 11th, Haris's birthday, and I was going to miss it! There was no way I was going to school Friday because I had to flu, a 101.6 fever and I was practically begging for death. Being sick made me lose my voice, which was a problem because I had volleyball Sunday and volleyball is a sport the requires yelling. We won, but that's besides the point. On Monday everyone was asking where I had been. I explained to them that I was dying and they were pretty understanding. I had to do a presentation for English, which was again a problem because I still didn't have my voice. We had a knew teacher for English so she didn't know I was sick. I had to present in front of everyone, including Haris, with a squeaky voice. I wanted to sink into the floor.

"You did great, it wasn't that bad!" declared Allie when I was done.

I knew she was just being nice. It was pretty bad. 

That Tuesday was a bit more eventful. Okay, a bit is an understatement. At the beginning of the day, we had advisory. During advisory, Allie described a dream she had to me where me and Haris were holding hands. We swore it was a sign. We held hands and started "Manifesting". While we were doing this, none other than Haris walked in. It scared me so bad that I said quiet loudly,

"Allie! Look behind you! LOOK BEHIND YOU!" 

Haris looked at me, I was almost sure he heard. Finally Allie turned around and said,

"Ohhhhh" in a moment of realization. 

Later, during lunch, RJ pointed his finger at me and said, "I'm gonna get you." Which was interesting. For context, RJ was another boy I liked. After lunch I was walking back to class with Soma and RJ was next to us. Soma started PUSHING ME INTO RJ while I shouted in my still squeaky voice, "Somaaaa!!! Stoppp!!!" 

She did not stop.

RJ gave me the side eye right before I went into my next class with Soma. During English Allie and I made a document so we could keep track of how many times Haris looked at me. Spoiler alert, it was very many. She counted 15 times in the span of 20 minutes. After class got out, I talked to Allie at her locker since it was right next to mine. Then she left, so I started talking to my friends Miles and Muhamed at their lockers. Halfway through the conversation Miles stopped and said,

"Avery, look behind you!"

I did, like an idiot, and was in shock to see Haris standing a foot away from me. I was so scared I'm pretty sure I audibly said, "Oh my god." Haris had a wide-eyed expression on his face like he had just seen a ghost and I could not get his face out of my head for days after. I yelled at Miles jokingly and turned around to see Haris walking away. 

I was in shock. I couldn't stop wondering if he was just trying to scare me or if he actually wanted to talk to me. Maybe all of the above.

The next day even more happened. During lunch, all of my friends dared me to ask RJ for his hoodie, so I did because I was promised food. And he actually gave it to me! Then he started LITERALLY RECITING HIS NUMBER TO ME IN THE HALL. That week was crazy. But NOTHING could prepare me for the next week.