Pita, continued

Chap.21, Arizona.

After that, I still hadn't given up on my reversion to Islam, I was just better at hiding it. And I had the support of my Muslim sisters. And I still wanted Haris. And Tarik. 

But after it was starting to seem like my life was okay again, it took a left turn. As it often does. I was helping my grandma setting up for a party that Wednesday night. I had gone home since it was a school night, and I got really sick. I wouldn't stop throwing up the entire night and got no sleep. So, I stayed home from school of course. It was that Saturday when I finally felt better, and I was helping move some branches for my church. At first, I thought I was just hungry. Then, I thought it was just cramps, but I wasn't on my period, and I started to feel nauseous. I went inside, but I couldn't throw up. I took some pain medicine, assuming my stomach was just messed up from the "food poisoning" I had a few days prior. The rest of the day I felt fine, but at night the pain returned. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. It felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. I couldn't throw up, so I stayed in the bathroom. I just layed on the floor and cried; it hurt too bad to stand up. Eventually the pain got so bad I started screaming and couldn't talk, so my grandma took me to the hospital. The car ride was torture. I felt like I might pass out from how bad the pain was, and I was scared I was going to throw up. At the hospital they put me in a wheelchair because I couldn't walk. I just remember screaming the whole time because of the pain. They gave me some nausea medicine and I felt better. They ran plenty of tests but found nothing. Later, when I was feeling better, they sent me home with some medications and that was that. We arrived home at 2AM and I wrote the whole thing off as stress.

The rest of February was fine, for the most part. We went to great wolf lodge and during the trip I found myself very much still liking and missing Tarik O. So, when I came back from the trip, I decided to do something a little unhinged. I asked Tarik for his snap. He said no, of course. After that luckily my feelings for him started to fizzle out. But I had a crush on another boy. Now, this one was also very interesting. Matthew Angeles. Oh dear, where do I even begin with this kid?

See, when the semester changed my classes got switched around. I now had PE. He was in my PE class, which was oddly small by the way. I swear, there wasn't more than 16 kids. At first, I thought he was just a little cute, then he started talking to me. I took it way more seriously than I should have. He was way more popular than me, however I was still seriously out of his league. Like RJ, he was very much a weirdo. He never remembered my name, but still flirted with me. But I soon realized he flirted with every girl in our PE. Around that time was when I met my best friend and favorite son, Charles Benignus. He actually had a crush on me at first, but he got over it. I actually thought he was cute too at one point, but also got over it quickly.

It was March now, and things had started to settle down. Sort of. 

For spring break, my grandma decided to take us to Arizona again. Not to the Grand Canyon like last time, but still. I was extremely excited upon hearing this, Arizona is in the top 3 of my favorite states. It immediately took me back to the last time I'd been to Arizona. The place where I first realized I was in love with Haris Putes. I had hoped that maybe it was some sort of sign. But a couple of things got in the way. One of which being Jacob. Earlier that March I had gone to a weekend long church camp. I had really hoped that Jacob was going, but he had gotten sick. I was sort of devastated. That weekend was another conflicting moment for me. I realized I was still kind of undecided between Christianity and Islam. But I pulled myself together, Ramadan was only a few weeks away. Even still I had really missed Jacob on that trip. I think that was when I realized I was sort of in love with Jacob, which was confusing. It was the first time since Colten I had been in love with two people. I felt sort of lost, and didn't know what to do. But being in Arizona made it better. I was really enjoying my week there, until it happened again. I was having a normal day when I started feeling the pain in my stomach again. I was confused and panicking since I was miles away from home. I was also terrified I'd have to go back to the hospital again. I didn't, but it still hurt just as bad as the last time. And nothing I did made it any better. It lasted until we got home. I went back to the doctor, more tests, and nothing. We don't know why it happened. Yet it's never happened since.