Pita, continued

Chap, 10. 2,22.

The whole month of February my crush on RJ had been on and off. I didn't like Sebastian anymore, and I still liked Colten but didn't really consider him an option. Same thing with Emilia. But I would swear I didn't like RJ one day, then be head over heels for him the next. He was driving me crazy, and not in a good way. On Sunday night, I had a strangely realistic dream where RJ had held my hand, then grabbed my thigh in English. On Tuesday when we had school again RJ was acting a lot more flirtatious than usual. Probably because Colten wasn't there. Halfway through the class, we had circle time again, and Haris stared at me the whole time of course. Haris had been acting a lot more outgoing lately. Like, a few days prior, we were in PE and Haris and Tarik were playing pickleball against Tawana and Aslan. Me and Adriana were line judging, so we got a front row seat to their whole game. One of the rules in pickleball is you have to let the ball bounce twice, once on each side before you can slam it down. It's called the "bounce bounce" rule. Kids at our school take the rule a little too seriously.

Anywho, Tawana had forgotten the rule or something, and Tarik started yelling "BOUNCE BOUNCE!" while pretending to be angry. I looked over to Haris, and then he did the same. 

"BOUNCE BOUNCE!!" He yelled so loud that his voice started to crack.

I.

Was.

SHOOK.

I didn't even know he had the ability to yell before that! Not gonna lie, it was kind of attractive...Adriana was shocked too.

"I didn't know he knew how to do THAT." We said simultaneously. 

Anyways, after circle time RJ kept flirting with me. He grabbed my hand. I knew what was going to happen next. And sure enough, he grabbed my thigh, just like in the dream. I was almost not even surprised. I was wearing booty shorts too, so it was my bare thigh! I went home and reflected.

I really needed to be focusing on Haris. I mean, he's like my dream guy! I figured I would have to find a way to tell RJ that it just wasn't going to happen. 

March 9th, I cried last night. I had never felt so close to giving up. I had spent the last two weeks hoping and praying that Haris would talk to me. It was for a silly reason, really. I had this dream that I took Haris's hoodie with me to Florida over spring break. This Monday, our English teacher said she was putting us in groups for a project. I hoped and prayed that Haris would be in my group. But the day she assigned groups, I was sick and couldn't go to school. I was so mad at myself; I couldn't see who was in my group until Wednesday. However, that evening Allie told me that Haris wasn't in my group. I kept it together, although I was really disappointed. When I went to school the next day, he wasn't even there. I was so mad I could have cried. Both him and his cousin (Tarik O) weren't there, and so close to spring break. What was I going to do? Everything was kind of falling apart. I missed him. I missed him so much. But I was also so, so tired of putting in so much energy and getting nothing in return. I wasn't giving up; Avery isn't a quitter. It was just really hard that day. I was scared and tired. Scared that it wouldn't work out. I had been trying for so long. It's not like it was going nowhere, but it sure felt like it. I needed a sign. Something, anything, to let me know it wasn't all for nothing. 

That something happened. It was almost funny how it did. We had moved to our basketball unit in PE, and our class played a hoop shooting game as practice. Once my team and Haris's team went against each other in the game. I had just made a basket, and I ran to grab my ball. I had made the mistake of running under the hoop while Haris was shooting. I don't know if he didn't see me, or just didn't care, but he made his shot, and his basketball hit me in the head. I decided to take that as a pretty clear sign. I mean, how much clearer of a sign do you need? The week before spring break came, and Haris still hadn't talked to me. But I wasn't worried. The Friday before that week, (the day Haris hit me in the head with a basketball), something I never thought would happen to me happened. It was freezing during lunch. The cold weather made me even more excited to escape to the south. I was about to ask for RJ's hoodie, because I knew he would give it to me, and I was freezing my ass off. But he was sitting by his ex, and I didn't want to make things awkward. That's when Colten came over to our table, and Adriana and Mimi explained to him my dilemma. 

"Do you just want me to get my hoodie for you?" He asked.

"...What?" I was dumbfounded. I almost forgot this was the same man that brutally rejected me in October.

"Yeah, I can just go upstairs and get you mine." 

"Sure, thanks."

Wow.

As soon as he left, my friends wouldn't stop teasing me.

"Oooo Avery" they teased.

I kept rubbing it in Adriana's face that I had gotten Colten's hoodie before she did. She couldn't really be mad; he had offered it to me, and I was actually freezing. Still, I thought it was sweet how he had gone all the way upstairs to get it for me. I almost thought he was just gonna abandon me and stay upstairs. Everyone kept asking me,

"Ooooh, who's hoodie is that?" 

I never told them, because I didn't want the speculation. A few of my friends guessed anyways. 

I wanted every day up until spring break to be interesting. Monday had been pretty boring, besides Haris losing at basketball in PE. That was fun, it's what he deserves for hitting me on the head. I've come to the conclusion that he's growing his hair out again. I don't know quite how to feel about that. I'm glad, because I liked his long hair and miss it. But part of me wishes he wouldn't. He looks really good with short hair. Anyways, enough about Haris. In English we had presentations. My group was Leila C, Omar, and Tanner. Surprisingly, working with Tanner wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. It was actually fun. I wouldn't go as far as to say we were friends again, but it seemed like the drama was behind us. Nothing really happened that Monday, which is per usual. Nothing ever happens on Mondays. Which is why I was excited for Tuesday. The whole day I was panicking. My thoughts were racing back and forth. I had come to the conclusion that I HAD to talk to Haris on Tuesday. I couldn't bear not speaking to him any longer. The problem was I had no idea what I was going to say, if anything. I asked all of my friends for advice. Adriana wasn't really helpful, so I asked Emilia. 

"Hypothetically, if I wanted to talk to a certain tall man today, how should I do that? What should I say?"

"Just say 'Hi'", Said Emilia.

Sure, like that wasn't awkward or anything after the last time I talked to him before winter break. Although I was scared for that too, and it ended up being okay. It actually went pretty well. Maybe I would take Emilia's advice. After all, what could really go wrong? If he didn't say it back, whatever. That's his mistake. I decided in art that, yes, I was going to do it. I just had to find an opportunity. I was afraid that since I was so nervous, I would miss my opportunity. I couldn't afford to do that so close to spring break. If I wanted to do this I had to be brave. I kept imagining Alexa's voice saying, "Get over yourself!", like she always did when I complained about Haris. She had a point. It brought me some courage. I would have to wait until English to see if it would be enough. I hoped and prayed that it wouldn't just be a repeat of winter break. When I said, "Bye" and was excited for a week, then disappointed again when he didn't talk to me. In reality, I should've been less nervous this time since I had already talked to him in December and just had to do it again. But I think I was more nervous because I was scared of having the same outcome. And this time I was trying not to wait until the end of class. And it wasn't a Friday.