Devil Dog MC #6 When a Man Loves a Man

Not Good News

Tim

     I was shocked when I heard Rocky's voice behind me.  I stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out if I was dreaming.  However the receptionist clearing her throat made me come back to reality.  I went to seat down beside him and when he grabbed my hand to squeeze it I was shocked.  I could let him hold my hand forever but the nurse called us back. He let go of my hand and carried Bea back.  I walked back and felt like I had cement shoes on.  I didn't want to face this.  We took a seat in the doctor's office not a patient's room.  I knew then there was no way my baby didn't have cancer.  I started to panic.  I don't know what to do Ana.  I heard the door open and the doctor took his seat.  He started off by asking how she had been this last week.  I told him how she seemed really tired.  He then pulled out some paperwork.  I know now things are fixing to get serious.  I sat and listened as this man turned my world completely upside down.  Bea was very sick.  He told us she has ALL acute lymphoblastic leukemia.  She is in the beginning stages.  I was thankful that she had not been sick for a long time and was neglected.  She will have to have chemotherapy and we will see how she responds.  She may have to have bone marrow transplant.

     We have to stay at the hospital while they get Bea set up for starting her treatment.  I am sitting here going over all the information I was given.  I don't know what I will do if we can't find a donor.  If I call Sam or my parents to be tested then they will take her and she will most likely die anyway.  Rocky stepped outside to call everyone to tell them what was going on.  I have no idea what I am going to do.  We will need to stay close by and this is going to get expensive.  I looked at my little Bea feeling like the world is against us.  I just sat and held her close to me.  I don't know what tomorrow holds but I am scared.  I am more scared than I ever was as a kid with drug addictive parents and the awful people they brought around us.  Bea fell asleep in my arms while we waited on everything that needed to be done.  Bea finally has made playmates with Cherry and Juniper's kids but now she will not be able to play with them while she is going through treatment because she can't afford to get sick with anything.  Why, Why is this happening?

Rocky 

     I stepped outside to call back home and give them the news about Bea.  I can't help but feel heart broken.  I called Prez first.  I knew he would be mad at me for fucking things up with work but he needs to know what's going on and what we need to figure out.  He answers "Rocky what the fuck is your problem man?  I rearrangement shit for you and you decided to do what you wanted anyway."  I let him finish them just said "She has cancer Prez."  I know he could hear that I was fighting the urge to cry.   I took a couple of deep breathes while he told me tell him everything.  I did tell him everything and what they said would need to happen.  He told me that he would get to work on figuring out the details then told me to make sure I was there for them.  I hung up and sat down outside the hospital.  I need to call Hotshot too.  I called him expecting him to be angry but he wasn't.  He just said "I am glad you went."  He said he would call Cherry and she will call Juniper.  I know Tim will not be up to talking to anyone.  He is holding on by a thread.   

     I waited for a while then went back inside.  I stopped and got us coffee first plus a juice box for Bea.  I walked in to find Bea asleep and Tim looking out the window.  I walked over to him to give him the coffee.  He was so lost in thought that he didn't even know I was beside him.  I called his name but he didn't respond.  I finally touched his arm and that brought him out of it.  He looked up to me and the sadness in his eyes was heartbreaking.  It nearly broke me.  He took the coffee and sat down.  I told him that I told everyone back home.  He didn't say anything he just sipped the coffee.  He sipped the coffee and starred at Bea.  She is so small and precious.  I wish I could fix it.  I wish for a lot of things.  I got text from Prez to call him so I told Tim and walked outside.  Prez told me about a place he found for us to stay at while she is getting her treatment.  He told me that he would send a couple of prospects up to take turns guarding us.  He also said he put in a few calls to the club nearby and they know the story.  So I have some numbers to call if we need help.  I go back inside and tell Tim that Prez found a house for us to stay in so that when she gets her initial treatment we can go stay there then come in for her treatments after that.  Prez also told me that he is going to ask the guys to volunteer to be check for bone marrow donation.  If they are not a match for Bea at least maybe someone can help some other kid.  Tim got emotional and had to step into the bathroom.  I sat down and waited on him to come out.  He looked pitiful but he said "I know you probably think damn is that all I do is cry.  I just don't know how to handle this though Rocky.  I can't lose her."  Shit, I know because I have only known her for a couple weeks and I can't either.  I waited with Tim for a while then left to go check out the house so I could get some things to make it easy for Bea.  

Tim

     I laid her with Bea and she is so sick from her first treatment.  They said that it would hit her hard because they are giving her a strong dose to begin with.  We will be able to leave the hospital in a few days and only come in for treatment and check ups.  Rocky has been working on setting the house up so that Bea can enjoy it.  She won't be able to go out and be among other kids for a while so he wanted to get her a little play area fixed.  Cherry and Juniper text or call me everyday.  They told me that they are available for me anytime.  I needed that too because I have no one.  I try not to cry to Rocky. It makes me embarrassed sometimes because it seems all I do is cry in front of him.  I was brought out of my thoughts by Bea throwing up.  I grabbed the little basin so she could throw up in it.   Once she was finished I called the nurse to let her know she needed her bedding changed.  I took her to the bathroom to clean her up while they changed the bed.  She doesn't understand what is wrong and she doesn't understand why we don't make it stop.  I carried her back out into the room to find several balloons and stuffed animals had been delivered.  Bea's little eyes sparkled when she looked around it.  We walked around and I read the cards to her.  The club had sent several.  Juniper and Cherry sent some on behalf of their kids.  I helped Bea to pick a couple of the animals to sleep with.  She was happy for now.  

     It's been a few days and we get to go to the house today.  I am glad being in a hospital is awful.  The sounds the interruptions and the smell is just too much sometimes.  Bea is excited because she thinks we are going home but home will be somewhere else for a while.  Rocky has carried all of her stuff down which now includes about 10 teddy bears, 6 giraffes,  and 9 dogs not too mention the books, coloring books, plus a few dolls.  This biker club is something else.  I finally get the papers we need to escape this place.  I got Bea outside and she smiled a real little smile.  Rocky looks over at her and smiles back.  She reaches out to him before I even make it half way there.  He runs up and steals her from me making her giggle.  I love to hear her giggle.  We get in the truck then head to the new house.  It is not as cozy as the one we were staying in but its nice better than most of them homes I was brought up in.  We got inside and let me tell you I don't know who gasp first Bea or myself.  Rocky out did himself.  I looked over to him with a huge smile and I swear the damn boy was blushing.  He has her a princess castle set up with a little table and chairs.  I see a tea set with princess dress laying there.  She has dolls, a little barbie car she can ride in.  I see blocks, art set, doctor set, purse with play make up and even a tiara with heels.  Bea is jumping with excitement.  He over did it but it was worth it to see Bea so happy.  I wish I could marry this man.