Devil Dog MC #6 When a Man Loves a Man

Rocky's Story

Tim

     I put Bea to bed already but I can not sleep.  I am worried about Rocky.  I pace back and forth in the living room.  I looked out the window every time I heard a car.  I am driving myself crazy right now.  I decided to go wash the dishes in the kitchen before I end up in an insane asylum.  I mean how long do I wait before I make a phone call to say "Hey your boy is missing."  I finished the dishes and then decided to put Bea's toys up.  I hear someone at the door.  Please be Rocky, please.  I see him walk through the door.  I want to run up to him and grab him in a hug but I restrain myself.  I go to ask where he was but then I see he is holding his stomach area.  Wait is that blood?  I shout "Rocky, you are bleeding?"  I run over to him pulling his hand away from his stomach.  He has a cut there.  I run to get something to clean it so I can see how bad of a cut he has.  I step back into the room and I stop in my tracks.  This man has washboard abs with a v shape that I would love to....wait, wait focus Tim.  Oh my God I can not believe I let my mind go there while the poor guy is bleeding.  I stop myself and refocus.  I can dream about exploring where that V leads to later.  I start washing the blood off and I see the cut is pretty deep.  I think he needs to go to the hospital for stitches.  I get the blood cleaned off then press a clean towel to it trying to keep it from bleeding more.  

     Rocky doesn't say anything.  He just seems like he is not even here mentally.  I asked "Rocky, what happened to you?  Did Sam find us?"  Rocky sits there and still says nothing.  Did he get hit in the head?  I start rubbing around on his scalp to feel for a bump or see if I find any blood.  Rocky jerks his head away.  He whisper shouts at me "What the fuck are you doing Tim?"  This dude is pissing me off.  First I worry about him for hours then he comes home injured and I am trying to figure out how to help him but what does he do...he fucking yells at me.  I stand up and say "Well excuse me for caring about you Rocky.  I mean you have only been gone for hours and you come home injured.  You not acting right and I thought you hit your damn head.  My bad for wanting to check on you just because you are acting like you done lost your fucking sense."  I stormed out of the room.  I know I need to stay and make sure he is okay but today with the news about Sam I am just so fucking mentally tired.  I walk into the bathroom and start the bath water.  I am going to soak in a hot tub and Rocky can just figure out his shit.  Fuck me he is hot.  

Rocky

     I don't even remember making it back.  I just got lost in my own damn head with my thoughts.  Tim was freaking out and trying to help me but all I could think about is Briana saw me.  I was brought from my thoughts when I felt Tim rubbing on my head.  It freaked me out because it brought back memories and memories that I never wanted to remember.  I finally realized it then I snapped at Tim.  I get up to go look for him but he is shut up in the bathroom.  I need to figure out what to do about this cut.  I don't want to go to the hospital but I know I need stitches.  I call the club nearby to see if they have someone they can send to stitch me up and they did.  I sat on the couch waiting on Tim to come out so I could apologize.  I hear a knock on the door and see the prospect.  He tells me someone from the club is here to stitch me up.  I opened the door to let them come in.  I see a woman and a man come in.  The man is a club member for sure.  He introduces the woman as Beth a nurse that helps them out sometimes.  She checks my wound then prepares to stitch me up.  I ended up with seven stitches.  I thanked them both and once they were gone I turned around to see Tim walking toward his room.  I walked toward him and asked him if we could talk.  He came over and sat down on the couch.  

     I am sitting there with Tim beside me but now I am lost for words.  He just sits there ringing his hands.  I finally got my nerve up to start the conversation.  I cleared my throat and said "Tim I am sorry that I snapped at you.  I really didn't mean to.  A couple of guys tried to rob me and one of the guys had a knife but by the time I realized it he had already cut me."  Tim doesn't say anything back to me.  He finally stands up and starts to walk back to his room.  He stops before going in and says "I don't know what's going on with you Rocky but something is.  I know you don't know me very well but I am a good listener when you are ready.  I am glad you are okay and I know sometimes I can be too much.  I don't mean to be it's just hard not to worry about well about everything right now.  I was stressed when you didn't come back thinking Sam may have found you.  I shouldn't have put my hands on you without asking first.  I was just afraid you may have hit your head.  I am going to bed it's been a long day and I just need it to end already.  Good night Rocky."  I feel like shit now.  I didn't mean to be an ass.  I go to say goodnight at the same time I hear the door shut.  I am not good with expressing myself.  I know that I have built a wall around myself that no one has been able to get through.  I mean no one not even my club brothers.  I trust my club brothers but I have never shared my true story.  I have told some of them about my over-religious parents and how they died but they don't know what happened.  I get up and go to clean up before heading to bed.  

Tim

     I fell asleep as soon as I laid down.  I mean nothing can make you more tired than emotional stress.  I need all of this to be over.  I need to leave with Bea and start fresh somewhere.  I need to show Bea that life can be better than what she has known.  I woke up pretty early and decided to go cook Bea some pancakes.  I know they are her favorite.  I made myself some coffee because I don't think I can function without it.  I decided to make some blueberry pancakes and also squeezed her some fresh orange juice.  I just wish I could fix everything.  I get everything on the table then go to get Bea.  I don't know when she got up but she is not in the room.  How did I not hear her get up?  I walked around but didn't find her.  I started running and shouting for her.  I hear Rocky yell she was in his room.  I run in and grab her.  I hugged her tight to me.  She scared the shit out of me.  I calmed down then told Rocky that breakfast is ready if he wanted some.  I carry Bea to the table and ignore the fact that Rocky is in boxers only.  Man he could model underwear any day for me.  I hear Bea say "Pannycakes!"  She seems good today.  She starts eating and telling me something but I can only understand a few words.  I hear Rocky come out of his room.  I look up and we look at each other.  I look away first because I don't need him to think that I am visualizing him naked, even though I am.  We finish breakfast and Rocky takes Bea into the living room while I clean up.  I hear them laughing together and look into the living room to see Rocky has the tiara on his head.  I can't help but smile at that.  

     I come to sit in the living room to watch them play since I am through cleaning.  I watched as Rocky pretends to serve Bea tea.  I laughed when she said "Hot!"  She blows on the little cup to cool her tea down.  I see Rocky do the same and I say "Rocky you are going to make a great dad one day."  Rocky smile faded away and I saw such sadness in his eyes.  Maybe he is not able to have kids.  I change the subject so that hopefully he will go back to smiling.  I love his smile.  He has the cutest dimple.  I could just...stop it Tim.  I have got to stop thinking about the things I could do to this man's v and his dimple.  I see Bea is losing steam.  She gets tired so quickly now.  I know she wants to stay and play with Rocky but she is struggling.  Rocky also notices and he picks her to rock her while he reads to her.  I see her little eyes close within ten minutes.  He takes her and lays her down on the bed.  I watch from the door way as he lays a blanket over her and puts her first teddy bear her got her in her arms.  She snuggles up to it and we walk back to the living room.  I decided to face the issue head on. "Rocky, I just wanted to apologize about my statement about you being a great father earlier.  I saw how sad you got so I figure you are not able to have kids so I am sorry if I upset you."  He looks at me like I have lost my damn mind.