Breaking the Grid

Frustration

I could feel the frustration boiling over in me, my patience worn thin. "Please, Kyra, just reply!" I nearly shouted, my voice breaking as I desperately tried to hold it together. "What am I to you? What am I supposed to do?!"

She flinched, the words striking her harder than I expected. And for a moment, there was silence. Then, she met my gaze, and in her eyes, I saw the vulnerability I'd been searching for.

"I do like you, Blair," she whispered, her voice shaking. "I like you too much. But I don't know how to do this... I don't know how to deal with everything."

The confession hit me like a wave, knocking the wind out of me. She continued, eyes downcast. "After the sprain... I didn't want you to see me like that. Weak... vulnerable. I just didn't know how to let you in, to let you see the side of me that's not perfect."

Her words hung in the air, heavy with all the things left unsaid. I clenched my fists at my sides, trying to hold on to some semblance of composure.

"I can't keep doing this," I said, my voice rough. "If you want something real, something between us, you'll have to trust me. You have to believe in us."

I took a step closer, the tension between us palpable. "I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for honesty, Kyra. And if you can't trust me with your feelings—if you can't trust me to be with other women—it won't work. Relationships don't work without trust."

I paused, feeling the weight of everything that had been building up. Then, the words slipped out before I could stop them. "The other day, you said I deserved a better woman. But that's not true. What I deserve is to be treated better, and I hope you'll start doing that."

The moment the words left my mouth, I saw her eyes fill with tears. She looked down, her lips trembling as the first tear slid down her cheek. I couldn't tell if it was out of guilt, sadness, or something else, but the sight of her so hurt... it gutted me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, wiping at her eyes, but the tears kept coming. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I just didn't know what to do."

I reached out, my hand shaking slightly as I gently cupped her face, lifting her gaze to meet mine. "You're not the only one lost in this, Kyra. But if we want to have something real, we need to stop hiding, stop running from this. I'm not going anywhere."

But even as I said that, I felt the distance between us. The doubt. The fear that maybe, despite everything, we were just too different, too broken to make it work.

Kyra nodded, a shaky breath escaping her. "I know... I just need to figure this out. I need to... I don't want to hurt you."

A few more tears slipped from her eyes, and I wiped them away gently with my thumb, trying to fight back the rising tide of emotion in me. "I don't want to hurt you either, Kyra. But I can't keep holding this all in. If you want me, if you want us, you need to start trusting me. We have to trust each other."

She stayed silent for a moment, her head resting against my hand, and for a brief moment, I thought she might finally break through that wall between us. But instead, she just nodded slowly, her tears not stopping.

"I will try," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"That's all I'm asking," I replied softly, my thumb brushing over her cheek one last time. But deep down, I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

I carefully take Kyra in my arms, holding her close as she clings to me, her grip tight. I can feel her breath against my chest, steady but shaky at the same time. "Did you eat?" she asks softly, her voice a little hoarse.

I nod, offering her a small smile. "Yeah, with Leah." She looks up at me, her eyes lighting up for a moment, but then her gaze drops to the floor.

I tilt her chin gently, lifting her hand to mine. "What about you? Have you eaten?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going, to bridge the gap between us.