Breaking the Grid

All about trust

As I made my way down the corridor, my chest felt tight, the weight of Kyra's words pressing heavily on me. My hands clenched the strap of my bag as I fought back the tears threatening to spill.

Turning the corner, I almost collided with Leah, who was heading out herself. She stopped abruptly, her eyebrows furrowing as she took in my expression.

"Blair? You okay?" she asked softly, her voice full of concern.

I hesitated, swallowing hard to steady my voice. "Yeah, I just..." I paused, running a hand through my hair. "Leah, can you drive me home? I really don't feel like getting a taxi right now."

Leah nodded immediately. "Of course. Come on." She motioned for me to follow her, her tone gentle, as if she could sense I needed the kindness.

We walked in silence to her car, the cool evening air biting against my skin. I hugged my coat closer, trying to focus on anything but the gnawing ache in my chest.

Once we were inside the car, Leah glanced at me as she started the engine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head quickly, staring out the window. "Not right now," I said quietly.

She didn't push, simply nodding and driving in silence. The hum of the car was the only sound, soothing in its own way. As the city lights blurred past, I let out a shaky breath, leaning my head against the window.

"Thanks, Leah," I said softly after a while.

She glanced at me, her lips curving into a small, reassuring smile. "Anytime, Blair."

As Leah drove, I stared out the window, watching the lights of the city blur into streaks against the darkened sky. The streets passed by in a haze, the hum of the car engine filling the silence between us. My chest felt heavy, the weight of Kyra's words and actions pressing down on me harder than I wanted to admit.

I let out a soft sigh, my breath fogging up the glass. "I don't think I'm ready to date someone anymore," I said quietly, more to myself than to Leah.

She glanced at me briefly, her brows knitting together in concern. "Why do you say that?"

I shrugged, my gaze still fixed on the passing streets. "It's just... why is it so hard?" I whispered, my voice tinged with frustration and sadness. "It feels like every time I try to open up, to care about someone, it just... backfires. Like no matter what I do, it's never enough."

Leah was quiet for a moment, letting my words settle in the air before she responded. "Relationships aren't easy, Blair," she said gently. "But that doesn't mean you're not ready. It just means you're human. We all mess up, we all struggle. It's part of it."

I finally turned to look at her, my throat tightening. "I just don't get it," I admitted. "I try so hard, Leah. I really do. But it feels like... like I'm always one step behind. Like I'm not enough for them."

Her grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly, her expression softening as she glanced at me again. "You are enough," she said firmly. "I don't know what's going on with you and Kyra, but I can tell you this much—you care. I can see it. And that's not nothing, Blair. Sometimes, people just need time to figure out their own stuff before they can meet you halfway."

I let her words sink in, my fingers tracing the edge of my coat absentmindedly. Deep down, I knew she was right, but it didn't make the hurt any less sharp.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this," I admitted softly, my voice almost breaking. "Putting my heart out there just to get it stomped on."

Leah didn't respond right away, her focus on the road. But after a moment, she spoke again, her voice steady. "You're stronger than you think, Blair. And the right person? They'll see that. They'll make it worth it."