Breaking the Grid

Feelings

Blair always looks at me in a way I love. She's one of the only people who looks at me that way, as if I'm unique in her eyes. Her green eyes darken and shine under the reflection of the moonlight, and I can feel her gaze even when she doesn't say anything. After a long silence, she finally retrieves her phone, puts it in her pocket, and opens her door to get out. I take that as a yes, and I do the same.

The air is fresh, a cool breeze giving me goosebumps as I unlock the door. Blair doesn't follow right away, and I feel the night air prickle against my skin. But once I step inside, the warmth of my house is inviting, the heat wrapping around me as I remove my shoes. Living away from the Australian heat took some getting used to, but every day, it feels more like home.

I hand Blair the keys so she can close the door behind us. As I do, I mention, "I'm going to take a quick shower. If you want, you can shower or change into something more comfortable." She smiles but declines the shower, though she doesn't say no to something comfy.

I lead her to my room and tell her, "Feel free to do whatever you want. Make yourself at home, search for a film or a series to watch." She gives me that smile of hers, the one that makes my chest feel lighter, before I head upstairs.

Minutes later, I'm brushing through my wet hair, towel-drying it as I come back downstairs. The sight waiting for me makes me pause—a few candles lit around the living room, the soft glow reflecting off the TV screen that's already on. Blair sees me and quickly tosses her phone to the side, smiling like a kid caught doing something mischievous. It's so cute that I can't help but laugh.

On my way to her, I grab a pillow and a blanket for us. As I approach, she pulls me into her, nearly making me fall, and I end up sitting between her legs. For a second, I think she's going to playfully tease me again, but instead, I hear her soft voice behind me.

"Do you maybe want me to braid your hair?" she asks, her breath warm against my neck.

Of course, I say yes. She's gotten pretty good at it from all the times she's done it before races, always with so much care. She starts the movie, though I realize I've never seen or even heard of it. For the first five or ten minutes, I'm barely paying attention, too focused on the feel of her soft hands running through my hair. She's so careful, trying not to hurt me, and I relax into her touch.

Blair's fingers are still gently braiding my hair, and for a while, everything feels perfect. The warmth of her body pressed close to mine, the sound of her soft breaths, the quiet hum of the movie in the background—it all blends together into a kind of peace I didn't know I needed.

After a few minutes, I sit up and stretch, telling Blair, "I'm going to grab us some water." She nods, her smile small but warm, as I stand and head into the kitchen. The cool air feels refreshing as I open the fridge and grab two bottles of water. I take a deep breath, trying to settle the flurry of feelings inside me, then head back to the living room.

When I return, I find Blair comfortably sprawled on the couch. Instead of sitting down next to her, I do what feels natural—I lie down, resting my head on her thighs. It feels right, like I belong here, and the tension I didn't even realize I had melts away.

I look up at her, the sound of the TV fading away as if it's somewhere far in the distance. She's still watching the movie, but my attention is completely on her. Her relaxed expression, the way her chest rises and falls gently, the way she seems so at peace... I can't take my eyes off her.

Then, suddenly, she lets out this soft laugh at something on the screen. It's quiet, but I swear it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I feel my heart tighten in my chest just listening to it.

"I can feel you staring," she says, her voice teasing but soft, one hand absently brushing through my hair.

I don't even try to deny it. "Can you blame me?"