Beetlejuice: The Novelization

Chapter Fifteen: No-Shows

"It was like being in an amusement park. Bam!", said Charles. "I didn't even know I could do the Calypso", said Grace. "Who has more fun than us?", asked Delia. "We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn here", answered Otho. "A very sophisticated pair. They even appear in sheets." "Charles, why didn't you tell us about this before?", asked Grace. "We're not sure we want our secret out", said Delia. "Everyone's going to want them for their parties." "People will pay big money for this", said Charles. "The Enquirer is offering $50,000 for proof of life after death", said Beryl. "This is it, Charles", said Otho. "You can get Maxie Dean up here now." "You think so?", inquired Charles. "Sarah loves the supernatural", said Otho. "She'll have him sprint up here in his helicopter... if you can produce ghosts for her." "Perhaps I should remind you all that I'm Delia's agent", said Bernard. "I have lost money on her work for years. If anything happened here, I shall handle it. But not until I've seen real proof." "What about this table?", said Grace. "What do you call what just happened? What money? Don't you believe in my work?", said Delia.

    "Here's Lydia", said Charles. "Well?" "They don't wanna come down", said Lydia. "Charles...", said Delia. "Why not?" asked Otho. "I think they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared", answered Lydia. "Please, they're dead", said Delia. "It's a little late to be neurotic." "All right". said Bernard. As Bernard, Grace, and Beryl leave not convinced of the ghost. "This was not a hallucination", said Delia. "This was real. We all experienced a super-powerful paranormal experience, and it was real." "Delia, you are a flake", said Bernard to Delia. "You have always been a flake. If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture." Bernard slams the door as he leaves. "Drive carefully!", called Charles. "I'm dead", said Delia. "The attic", said Lydia. "The attic's locked", said Charles. "They're ghosts. They can do what they want", said Lydia. "They do whatever they want.", said Lydia. "Take us up there right now". They walk up the stairs to the attic.

    "Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's 'Locked Door Ghosts!', said Otho. "Probably committed suicide up there. I'm enchanted." "In there?, said Delia. "They must live like animals." "It's locked", said Charles. "How did they get in?" "Open this door, you dead people, or I'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!" exclaimed Delia. "Shh!", shushes Lydia to Delia. "They didn't commit suicide", "It doesn't matter", said Delia. "I can teach you something here. Take the upper hand in all situations or people, dead or alive, will walk over you. Open up!" The door opens, and they walk in the attic. "Where are they?", asked Delia. "Listen, you guys, these ghosts are nice people", said Lydia. "I think we scared them away, so let's leave them alone, all right?" Charles sees the model of the town. "It's the whole damn town", he said. "I have never been so embarrassed", said Delia. "Are they gone for good?" Charles pushes a model truck down a street in the model. "Dad, don't", warned Lydia to his father. "Mom, let's just go." Otho then finds the Handbook for the Recently Deceased. "No ghosts here", said Delia. "Come on! If they are in here, I don't want to scare them away. We're leaving now. You can go about your business."