Beetlejuice: The Novelization

Chapter Twenty: Lydia Meets Beetlejuice

Back in the real world, Lydia walks into the attic and puts down her suicide note. "Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?", called Lydia looking around the attic. Beetlejuice is laying on a lounge chair on the balcony of Dante's Inferno. "Dead. Dead, dead, deadski", said Beetlejuice. "Of course they're dead", said Lydia. "They're ghosts". "No, I mean they're gone", said Beetlejuice. "Split. Outta here. Afterlife kids. Deceased-ah...". "Are you a ghost, too?", asked Lydia. "I'm the ghost with the most, babe", answered Beetlejuice. "Y'know, you look like somebody I can relate to. Maybe you could help me get outta here, y'know, 'cause I gotta tell ya: this dead thing is-" He picks up and eats a beetle from the ground. -it's just too creepy. See, here's my problem; I got these friends on the outside I said I'd meet, y'know, and it's the kinda thing I have to be there in person, y'know, so I was just wonderin'... could you help me get outta here?"

    "I wanna get in", said Lydia. "Why?" Said Beetlejuice in a genuinely confused. "Y'know, hey, you probably got your reasons. But the thing is, I can't do anything from over here. If you could get me out, over there, then maybe we could talk or somethin'. But y'know, in order to do that, you gotta say my name 3 times." "What's your name?", asked Lydia. "Well, uh... I can't tell ya", answered Beetlejuice. "Why not?" asked Lydia. "Y'know why?", answered Beetlejuice. "Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell. But maybe -- if ya have a pen, maybe we can - oh, I know. Ya ever play charades?" "Yeah?", said Lydia. "Ah. Good, good", said Beetlejuice. "Ah, here we go, then. Ready?"

    "Two words, said Lydia as he holds 2 fingers up. "Two words...". "Right!", exclaimed Beetlejuice as he taps his forearm with the same two fingers. "First word...", said Lydia. "Two syllables." "Y'know...", said Beetlejuice gesturing. "I don't know what your signal means", enquired Lydia. "Turn around and look behind ya!", exclaimed Beetlejuice. "Hi. How are ya?", said a Beetle. "Ahh, B-Beetle!" gasped, Lydia. "Ah, OK! Now, two...", said Beetlejuice. An image of a Minute Maid orange juice carton is pouring orange juice into a glass. "Uh, uh, breakfast...", said Lydia struggling to think of the last word. "Orange... orange beetle... Uh, beetle fruit... beetle breakfast... Uh, beetle drink... Uh Beetle, uhh, uhh, uhh... Beetle... Juice?" "Yes!", said Beetlejuice. That's it!" "Your name's Beetlejuice?", asked Lydia. "Ahh, ya said it twice. Just say it once more, come on!", answered Beetlejuice. "It was you, wasn't it?", said Lydia. "What? Me?", said Beetlejuice. "The snake", said Lydia. "No, what snake?", said Beetlejuice. "You kids and your imaginations. Just say it!" "No. I wanna talk to Barbara", said Lydia. "No, you don't need to talk to Barbara!" exclaimed Beetlejuice. "Just say it!"

    Adam and Barbara are at the door that takes them into the attic. They're still in their gruesome forms. "Oh Adam", said Barbara. "I can't go through with it. I like that little girl." "But Barbara, honey, it's too late", said Adam. "We have to go through with this." "No, we don't", said Barbara. "I mean, can't we rebel or something?" "Adam sighs and shakes his head "Barbara..." "Adam... I wanna be with Lydia", said Barbara. They walk through the door and see Beetlejuice trying to get Lydia to say his name one more time. "C'mon! Just say it!", exclaimed Beetlejuice. "No!" warned Adam to Lydia. "Say it!" exclaimed Beetlejuice. Lydia sees Barbara's hideous form and screams. She then sees Adam and screams. "You! Say it!" exclaimed Beetlejuice as he falls off the balcony.

    "It's ok. It's ok. It's us. What's going on?", asked Barbara, who is now back to normal. She is reassuring Lydia. "Beetle...", said Lydia. "Shh!" shushes Barbara to Lydia. "...he told me if I let him out", said Lydia. "He would take me to the other side to find you." "No, Lydia, we're dead", said Barbara. "I wanna be dead, too", said Lydia. "No! Lydia", said Barbara. "Being dead doesn't really make things any easier." "Listen to her on this.", said Adam. "This is something we know a lot about!" "And you can come up here and visit us anytime you want", said Barbara. "I have a feeling that things are gonna be a little better around here from now on." Adam is still trying to fix himself. "What do you mean, better?", asked Lydia. "We've decided we're going to invite you and your family to stay", said Barbara. "That's right, Lydia", said Adam, who has a long nose.

    Just then, the door opens and the three hide. "Charles, why can't we just bring Maxie up here?", asked Otho. "You've got a stake in this, too, Otho", said Charles. "This is a presentation. It requires a sense of occasion, a sense of style. It's so big, how are we gonna get it out?" "It's sectional", said Otho. "Get it both ends." "Wait, wait, wait", said Charles. "There are plugs." "Careful!", exclaimed Otho. "Okay, go", said Charles. They each lift half of the model off the table. "What's going on?", asked Adam. "I don't know", answered Lydia. "I'll find out." "Be careful", said Barbara.