Chapter Five: Enter The Deetzes

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Time passes relatively quickly, and soon, the Maitlands' house is sold again (under Jane's watchful eye) to the Deetzes, a New York family composed of Charles, his second wife Delia, and their teenage goth daughter Lydia. While Charles wishes for a quiet respite from the hustle and bustle of New York, Delia can't stand the simple life, and hires a decorator named Otho Fenlock to make the house more 'livable' and more to her tastes. "This is great! Just what the doctor ordered", said Charles. The moving men pushes in chair in on a diamond-plated steel cart and it hits the base of the railing. "Sorry, ma'am", said one of the moving men. "Delia Deetz, welcome home", said Charles as he goes in for a kiss. "Charles!" exclaimed Delia. "It's okay, there's no damage", said Charles. "See? Good, sturdy, country, craftsmanship. Look at that kitchen. You'll finally be able to cook a decent meal. Come and have a look." Delia gives him an "are you kidding me?' look. "A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem", said Delia.

    "Excuse me. Here we go", said one of the moving men. Their daughter, Lydia, checks the house. "We'll have to rip out all the plumbing. Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect. What do you think, honey?" asked Charles. "Delia hates it", answered Lydia as she looks at a spider on web. I could live here. "Careful! That's my sculpture," exclaimed Delia to one of the moving men. I don't mean 'my' as in 'I bought it.' I mean I made it. Put it on the table. One of the moving men throws it on the table. Delia rights the sculpture. "Ten minutes. I'm already perfectly at ease", said Charles in study looking at his watch relaxing siting on his rocking chair.

    A man, Otho, is trying to climb through the window. "Help!" exclaimed Otho. "It's Otho", said Delia. "Otho, why don't you come in the front door?" asked Charles. "It's bad luck", answered Otho. "You left the city for me. I am so happy", said Delia. "Of course you are", said Otho. "Delia...", said Charles. "You're right", said Delia. "...let's get one thing straight...", said Charles. "You're right", said Delia. "...we're here to enjoy the country setting...", said Charles. "Mm-hmm. You're right", said Delia. "...not to trash the place!" exclaimed Charles. "You're right", said Delia". "Charles, you're lucky the yuppies are buying condos so you can afford what I'm going to have to do to this place", said Otho. "I'm here to relax and clip coupons, and damn it, I mean to do it", said Charles. "Then, go do it quietly, dear, and let Otho and me think", said Delia. "Is the rest of the house as bad as this?", asked Charles. "Is this a punishment? What are we gonna do?", asked Barbara. "We're not completely helpless. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation. Ghosts!" answered Adam

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