Have you ever felt lonely before?
It feels like this:
iknoweveryonesecretlyhatesmeyoucantellbythewaytheirconversationsstopassoonastheywalkpastmeitsactuallyreallyfunnyifyouthinkaboutitbecausetheythinkicanttellthatiknowthattheyhatemebutthetruthisidosokeepthisinmindnexttimewhenyougossipbecausethevictimwillalwaysknowandyourehereintheroombutyourenothereatthesametimeyourejustdriftingpassingthetimeitsacalmingyetsuffocatingexperiencesomethingyoudontwanttofeelitsthefeelingofbeingforgottenitsthefeelingofnotbeinggoodenoughihavetobegoodenoughbutimnotsohereiambymyselfnearthebackinthecornerofaroomwritingthisuselesspieceofwritingandhereiaminmyfullshamefultrueformsuchapitysuchadisappointmentandiguessthatsallireallyamadisappointmentbutifyouthinkaboutiteveryonesadisappointmentbecausenooneisperfectbutthenagainpeoplehavedifferentstandardssotechnicallytheymightbecountedasperfecttotheirstandardsbutwhatifyouhaveextremelyhighstandardswhatifyourealittlementallyinsaneandyouresmilingasyourewritingthisforsomereasonwhichiswhyeveryonehatesyoubecauseyourealittlementallydisturbingbutyoucantevenopenyourmouthtotellthemtheyrewrongbecauseyouvesomehowconvincedyourselfthatyoucanttalkunderanycircumstancesbecauseyourenotworthyoftalkingintheclassroomandyourewonderingwhenisittimeforrecessimsohungrybutimnotaskingtheteacherbecauseimnotgoingtotalkinanyclassandnowitsthreehoursafterschoolandivebeensittinginthecornerofmyhousedoingnothingfortwoandahalfhoursandcountingbecauseijustsufferedthetypicalvcelectureaboutlifeandtheywereyellingatmebecauseididntwanttosignupforsportsbecauseidontwanttodoswimmingortennisbutihavetodooneofthembutanywaytheytookawaymydeviceswhichiswhyimwritingthispartonpaperithinkiwillcopythisontomycomputertomorrowmorningifigetitbackwhichiprobablywontohandeveryoneinthehouseisignoringmebecausetheytoldmetheyweregoingtosendmetoapublicschoolandpeopledontcareaboutpublicschoolchildrensoimgettingignoredhonestlyitsnotthatbadimjustwritinganddrawingingthecornerofthehouseiguessitsoneoftheperksofbeingsuperintrovertedthatyourefineprocrastinatingthedayawayohwaitnevermindthatsasymptomofbeingaperfectionistwaitisitbutimnotaperfectionistimjustsomeonewhoseemslikeaperfectionistrighthopefullywellanywayitsgettingclosetothreehoursofjustsittinghereandimgettingalittleboredsoletsdrawapicturehmmhowwouldiuploaditthoughifionlyhadmycomputertomorrowwhateverthatsafuturemeproblempikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaokayifinishedthepictureitssoprettyilluploaditwiththishugeparagraphtomorrowitsninepmnowandikindofwanttosleepimsoboredddddddddwaitwhydoifeelsomewhathappyimliterallygettingignoredandbothofmyhandsarestartingtocrampfromwritingthismuchinsuchashorttimeperiodohdayumithinktheressomethingwrongwithme...
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A hundred thoughts at once, you want to share it with someone, but there's no one here willing to listen. A million thoughts later, you're still here, sitting in the corner, alone as always. Oh well, at least you have some company.
Lil old me. :3
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Random Thoughts
PoetryAn anthology of poems, letters, long texts, unsent emails, songs, conversations/dialogue, memories and other random stuff.
