My Life, My Choice

forgiveness but never forget

November 27, 2024

I still continued telling her what she needs to improve or change about herself. Turned out that she was suffering by so much problems and she's been depressed for many months now. 

Then I told her, "It's the Karma, what you did wrong will bounce back to you, worst than what you did before. Look what you did, you're block listed to Ka Amy's house. Where will you go when you need some place to stay? Where will you go when you need food? Even in my aunt's house, you're block listed. She hates you for doing what you did to me. You were the one who destroyed your image. It's not your parents nor other people. You were pressured by your parents, I've been there too, but when it's wrong, it's wrong. You knew that. It's your choice, it's your life, it's your decision Denise."

She opened up more of her experiences  that had made her feel so alone and sad. 

I sarcastically told her something that made her laugh too, "You know what, knowing what happened to you? It made my heart feels happy too. I was happy that you are suffering because I suffered so much from you. It's been a year of suffering and 5 months of depression from you Denise. You deserved that." 

Then she also opened up to me that she used to envy our other friend, Weslie. She said that I gave Weslie money to apply on the online jobs while she didn't receive anything from me. She was jealous. 

I replied to her, "How could I help you when you were not even putting any effort? I was telling you before that you need to make a resume right? But you never did that. You even seem like you wanted me to do it for you. To be honest with you, when Weslie asked me to have a job, I was traumatized that I have ignored her many times because I felt like she's gonna do the same as what you did to me." 

After our long talk, we said our goodbyes. I then saw Ka Amy. I talked to her and told her that I had a conversation with Denise. In Ka Amy's house, I, Ate Ren and Ka Amy discussed about it. Ka Amy said that she talked to Denise a night before. She texted Denise because Denise was not replying to her for a whole day already. She texted like this, "Denise, talk to me if you still have respect on me."

Denise then talked to her in her house. Then Denise told her that she was just busy that's why she was not able to reply to her text.

Ka Amy sarcastically told us, "She's busier than me?" Ka Amy is an accountant, general manager of their company and she handles purchasing department and accounting department. Imagine she also manages their company branches. 

"She's lying again. Anyway, I told her already about her attitude, seems like she's not gonna do that anymore." I smirked bitterly. 

"For me, everything that happened should be forgotten. It's nothing to me anymore since I already have voiced out and released everything to her."

"Really? You're gonna forget that?"

"Yeah," Ka Amy said while nodding.

"Well, me, I don't forget. I don't even forgive. It's hard to forgive and just forget everything. I feel happy that I released all the negativity but I never forgive and forget bad things that a valuable person did to me."