Damaged Hearts

Chapter 15

Zach

A knock at the door snapped me out of my thoughts. I rubbed my face and went to open it, already knowing who it was.

Nicole stood there, her eyes immediately scanning mine. "Hey."

"Hey," I said, stepping aside to let her in.

She walked in, her gaze falling on the coffee table to see my badge, a bottle of whiskey, and an empty glass. She turned back to me. "Rough day?"

I nodded, sinking onto the couch. "Yeah."

She sits down next to me, "What happened?"

I exhaled slowly. "Domestic call. Guy was drunk, got violent. His kid tried to protect his mom."

"The kid?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Broken arm. Some bruises. He looked at me like I was supposed to fix it all, like I was some kind of hero."

"You did fix something," she said firmly.

I shook my head. "Doesn't feel like it. I arrested the guy, but that kid still has to live with what happened."

"You can't save everyone, Zach."

I looked at her, frustration boiling under the surface. "I know. But it doesn't make it any easier."

"Honey I know that. I'm not saying it does, I'm just showing support. Remember you are not alone." Her words hit hard, breaking through the wall I'd been holding up all day. I leaned back, running a hand through my hair. "You make it sound so simple."

"It's not," she said quietly. "But I see you trying, that's what matters."

I turned to her, really looking at her. "Thanks."

She doesn't say anything, just rubs my back with her hand. I kiss her for a moment and sit back on the couch again. Letting out a deep breath, I know I need to shift the focus.

"Let's just talk about something else now." I say.

"Like what?" she asked, her voice lighter now but still gentle.

"I think we should discuss what we see and want in our futures," I say, my tone is steady, but inside, nerves twist. Nicole blinks, surprised by the sudden shift in the conversation.

"Okay, sure. Yeah," she says tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You go first, if you're okay with that," I offer. She nods, her expression unreadable and slightly hesitant.

"Obviously my kids are going to come first. Always. I don't know how I'd handle it if they didn't like us being together. Brian? I can move past him. But them? I don't think I could."

"So... should we talk to them about us?" I wonder.

"Maybe. But if we do, they'll definitely tell Brian, and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

"It's your call, babe. They're your kids," I say softly, holding her hand in mine.

"I know," she replies then pauses before adding,"Speaking of kids... do you want any in your future? Your own, I mean?"

My breath hitches, "Uh, well..." I clear my throat.

"Don't lie to me," she says "Please."

"Okay. Yeah. I mean, I always saw myself with kids. But as I get older, that dream has sort of started to fade. You know?"

"I'd have another baby." She says. The words hit me like a freight train.

"Really?"

"I always wanted another," she admits, her voice quiet but steady. "Brian didn't." She shakes her head, and there's a shadow in her eyes, a pain she's clearly lived with for a long time. "Not ever since..."