Damaged Hearts

Chapter 27

Zach

Nicole and the kids moved in 2 weeks ago and the first week of school was this week. I had no idea how crazy mornings would be before school until now. The lunches and getting on and off the bus, homework already. Good lord, they're just kids. I don't remember it being so miserable when I was their age.

As far as the loss of Brian goes, the kids are doing better. I think the therapy has helped immensely. I also think moving in here with me and having Nala has been a helpful distraction. Nala is great with making you feel better, she loves to cuddle and always helps get me out of a depression funk.

"Landon, grab your sneakers before you forget!" Nicole called from the kitchen.

I'm still scrolling through my phone, trying to juggle messages about my shift changes.

"Zach?" Nicole's voice broke through my focus. "Can you get them on the bus? I've got a meeting first thing, I cannot be late."

I look up. "I can't. Boss just said I need to be there, Trent's out." I reach for my coffee cup to go.

"Of course." she muttered under her breath, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

I felt my jaw tighten. Looking across the open living space, the kids aren't around, I look to Nicole, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm the one rearranging my whole week around everyone else, Zach. I've got work too, while you're out there—"

"Don't start, Nicole," I cut in, frustration boiling over. "I'm not sitting around doing nothing. I'm working too you know." I point to my phone. She's been a so uptight all week, it's really been testing my patience.

She turns on me, her arms crossed. "I'm not saying you're doing nothing, Zach, but I'm the one making everything work while you're at work, and it's exhausting."

I set my coffee back down, trying to hold my ground. "Monday I was late, to help with a smooth morning for the first day. Last night, I picked up dinner after you said you didn't have time to run to the store and tomorrow I offered you a night out with Kris, and Cassidy." I pause but she doesn't say anything, I think she probably regrets giving me shit. "I'm trying, Nicole, but you've got to understand my schedule isn't always mine to control."

Completely ignoring what I say first, "I used to be married to a cop, Zach. I know how hard it is to plan around unpredictable shifts. But don't you get it? It's not just about schedules. It's about us. We're slipping, and it's like you don't even notice."

That hit me harder than I wanted to admit. I rubbed my hand over my face, feeling the weight of everything press down on me. She's right about that. Our time together up until recently has revolved around the kids. Prepping for school and making sure they were taken care of. Now that there's no Brian to share the responsibility with, it's all on her, us.

Audra makes herself present, packing her backpack up, my voice drops to a whisper,
"Of course I notice, baby. But I don't know how to fix it."

"Me neither." She says and walks away to get the kids out the door.

The rest of my shift felt like a blur. My mind kept replaying the argument, and I couldn't shake the thought that Nicole was right. I hadn't been the boyfriend she deserved. Father, sure, but it's not just about the kids, I need to take care of her too.

By the time I finished, I was determined to do something about it. I swung by a mini market on the way home and grabbed a bouquet of daisies, hoping that something, at least, would be enough to show her I was sorry.

Just as I was getting back in my truck I get a text from her,

Nicole: "I'm sorry about this morning. I hope you're having a good day. I love you and you are enough."