BIPOLAR

Chapter Sixteen: The Flower Meadow

    Sarah stormed into her house, slamming the door behind her. She felt like she was drowning in her emotions, and she didn't know how to keep her head above water.

    She walked into the living room, her eyes scanning the space for something to focus on. But everything seemed to remind her of Jamin, and the pain became too much to bear.

    Without thinking, Sarah started throwing things around the room. She hurled a vase against the wall, shattering it into a hundred pieces. She kicked over a chair, sending it crashing to the floor.

   Mai, who had followed her into the house, tried to intervene. "Sarah, stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" Mai cried, trying to grab Sarah's arms.

   But Sarah was beyond reason. She shook Mai off, her eyes blazing with anger and sadness.

   In her frenzy, Sarah accidentally swung her arm and hit Mai on the nose. Mai cried out in pain, clutching her nose.

    Sarah froze, horror dawning on her face. "Mai, I'm so sorry!" Sarah cried, rushing to her side.

    But Mai just shook her head, her eyes welling up with tears. "It's okay, Sarah. I know you didn't mean it."

    Sarah felt a wave of guilt and shame wash over her. She had never felt so low in her life.

   She stumbled backward, collapsing onto the couch. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

    "Why did this have to happen to me?" Sarah wailed, her voice shaking with despair. "Who put this curse on me?"

     Mai sat down beside her, putting a gentle arm around her shoulders.  "Sarah, don't say that. You're not cursed."

    But Sarah just shook her head, her eyes streaming with tears.

    "I am cursed," Sarah whispered. "Everyone around me suffers because of my existence."

    As she spoke, Sarah felt a darkness closing in around her. She felt like she was drowning in her own despair, and she didn't know how to keep her head above water.

    Over the next few hours, Sarah's emotions continued to spiral out of control. She cried, she screamed, she threw things around the room. Mai tried to calm her down, but Sarah was beyond consolation.

    As the night wore on, Sarah's exhaustion began to catch up with her. She collapsed onto the couch, her body shaking with sobs.

    Sarah shook her head, her eyes closed. "I don't know if I can do this, Mai," Sarah whispered. "I don't know if I can keep going."

    Mai held her close, trying to comfort her. "You can do this, Sarah," Mai said. "You're strong. You're brave."

     But Sarah just shook her head, her eyes streaming with tears. "I'm not strong, Mai," Sarah whispered. "I'm not brave. I'm just... broken."

     As the night wore on, Sarah's tears finally began to subside. She fell into a fitful sleep, her body exhausted from the emotional turmoil.

   But even in her sleep, Sarah's mind was still racing. She was trapped in a never-ending nightmare, and she didn't know how to wake up. Luckily the alarm clock came to the rescue.

   The next morning Sarah felt sick. Not physically but mentally, she decided to go to the one person she was certain of who could help, Dr. Lee. She ate a quick breakfast and went to see Dr. Lee.

    Sarah sat in Dr. Lee's office, fidgeting with her hands. She had been feeling overwhelmed and anxious since Jamin's confession, and she didn't know how to cope.

    Dr. Lee leaned forward in her chair.

    "Sarah, tell me what's been going on," Dr. Lee said, her voice gentle. "How have you been feeling?"

    Sarah took a deep breath, trying to put her emotions into words.

   "I just feel so lost and alone," Sarah said, her voice shaking. "I want to die, Lee. I'm tired of all of this I can't take it much longer. I want another life."

   Dr. Lee nodded sympathetically. "I understand," Dr. Lee said. "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious. But I want you to know that you're not alone. We can work through this together."

    Dr. Lee paused, studying Sarah's face.

    "I think I'd like to try something to help you relax," Dr. Lee said. "Would you be open to NPL?"

    Sarah hesitated, unsure of what to expect.

    "What will it feel like?" Sarah asked.

    "You'll just feel very relaxed and calm," Dr. Lee said. "You'll be able to focus on your breath and let go of your worries."

    Sarah nodded, feeling a sense of desperation.

    "Okay," Sarah said. "I'll try anything."

    Dr. Lee nodded, smiling.

    "Good," Dr. Lee said. "Just lay there, close your eyes and take a deep breath."

    Sarah closed her eyes, feeling a sense of trepidation. But as Dr. Lee began to speak, her voice low and soothing, Sarah felt her muscles begin to relax.

    "You are safe, Sarah," Dr. Lee said. "I want you to imagine a peaceful place like a flower meadow. Imagine yourself in the center. Tell me what you can feel and see ?"

    "I see flowers, beautiful flowers. There is a light breeze it feels amazing. The flowers are so many I cannot see the bottom."

     Dr. Lee guided her through the field using her voice, as she  continued to speak Sarah felt herself becoming more and more relaxed. Her mind began to quiet, and she felt a sense of peace wash over her.

     But just as she was starting to feel calm, Sarah's mind began to wander. She thought about Jamin, and the pain he was in. She thought about her own feelings of helplessness and despair.

   Her mind began racing, Sarah felt herself becoming more and more agitated. She tried to push the thoughts away, but they just kept coming back. The peaceful field she was imagining became dark and the flowers started to die.

    Dr. Lee's voice was still soothing and calm, but Sarah couldn't shake off the feeling of anxiety that had settled in her stomach.

    "I'm sorry, Dr. Lee," Sarah said as she got upright, her voice shaking. "I don't think this is working."

   Dr. Lee's expression turned sympathetic.

   "It's okay, Sarah," Dr. Lee said. "Hypnosis isn't for everyone. We can try something else."

   Sarah nodded, feeling a sense of disappointment.

   "Wait do you mind if I just one more thing?", Dr. Lee asked.

   "What?"

   "Fall."

   Sarah immediately closed her eyes and fell to the ground. She was back at the flower meadow, falling through the endless pit of flowers. She then fell through a sea of water that later turned into blood.