To Build A Home || c.h

Chapter 17

Wattpad is being a little b.itch and won't let me comment, but this chapter is dedicated to fizzyfam for being such a loyal reader and voting and commenting! You rock and your stories are awesome! 

Calum's POV:

My vision gets blurry because of the tears, and I desperately need some fresh air, but of course, I run right into someone, causing both of us to fall.

"Look where you- Calum? Oh, hey!" I hear a voice that I recognize as Alaska's say. I have to support myself on the wall in order to get up without falling right back down. I'm so sure my legs are going to give in at any moment.

"Calum, are you okay?" she asks me and tries to help me up. I just avoid her touch and start walking towards the exit again. I really can't deal with anyone at the moment.

"I'm just trying to help you!" she says with furrowed brows and starts following me. God dammit Alaska, please leave me alone!

"I don't need your help, so leave me the f.uck alone!" I respond, way harsher than intended. I'm not getting much air to my brain and my mind is clouded and confused, I didn't really mean to respond that way, but I couldn't think clearly! 

"You know what Calum? F.uck you! I haven't been anything but nice to you, but I'm done! You're clearly not worth it anyways!" she nearly yells at me. I don't respond as I finally get to the door and nearly stumble down the few steps. I know that what she just said is true, so I don't even try to say against her. That would just be a waste of the tiny amount of air that is still getting to my lungs.

For some reason, those four words keep repeating in my mind as I feel my throat getting tighter and my legs getting weaker.

"I'm not worth it..." escapes from my mouth as a hoarse whisper as I fall to the ground, laying on my side as I struggle to catch my breath. A strong pain quickly forms in my chest as tears start falling from my eyes. The pain is so intense, it feels like it's all over my body, and every inch of me is hurting. My whole body is shaking and the only thing I can hear is my heart pounding in my chest, along with a faint voice saying my name.

God, is that you? Am I finally dying?

Much to my dismay, though, it's not God, but a frantic Ashton. A very frantic Ashton.

"Oh my god Calum, what the h.ell happened?!" he asks with panic evident in his voice. I don't have anything left in me to answer him, I'm too busy trying to freaking breath. My hand is on my chest, and by now my eyes are shut tightly. I can barely feel the tears running down the side of my head and nose because of the pain in the rest of my body. My face is scrunched up in pain, and small whimpers escape my lips occasionally. Somehow, it feels like I'm losing my grip on reality, and I'm so sure I'm going to die any second. F.uck, I hope I die any second...

"S.hit," he mutters under his breath before he grabs my arm.

"C'mon, let's get you up," he says, but I don't do anything to help him in his efforts of lifting me up. I'd much rather just lay here until I die.

"Okay, okay, just wait here and I'll get the school nurse," he says rather quickly before I hear him running, hopefully to actually get the school nurse and not to run off panicking. I wouldn't be surprised if he did the latter, honestly.

The next hour or so is just very blurry. From Ashton coming back with the school nurse, to the ambulance driving me off to the hospital. Constantly there's someone telling me to just breathe and relax, but they don't know how hard it is. They don't know how much it hurts, both physically and mentally. That kid didn't even look that much like Jake, so why was the panic attack so bad? It's one of the worst ones I've ever had, but I just can't figure out why.