what now? | outerbanks

• seventeen •

/ONE MONTH LATER/

Kie

"Get up, Kie," JJ says loudly from inside.
"But my legs hurt," I whine loudly. I know I'm being dramatic, and I know he's aggravated with me, but they really do hurt. We've been working non-stop for the past month, and though we are finally on the finishing stretch, we're still working just as hard as we have been. The blonde boy trots his way over to me, and I lay back in the chair I'm sitting in, holding my arms straight out to him. He clasps his hands around my wrists and easily pulls me to my feet, kissing me on the lips quickly as I get balanced.
"If Sarah isn't complaining, neither can you," he tries to whisper, but he fails, and the girl throws something hard at him.
"I heard that! Asshole!" Sarah sticks her tongue out at JJ in a childlike way, and I can't help but smile at the two. Sarah's always been like that- a child at heart- no matter how much she's been through. It's something I look up to her for.

Last month, we bought back JJ's land from the bank, where we also got rights to build. With a lot of help from Heyward, we were able to gather up enough materials to hand-build our dream surf shop. A place by the Pogues, for the Pogues. Sarah planted a garden, I started a surfboard collection to sell, Cleo curated a precise menu, JJ made a charter fishing business, and Pope and John B. figured out all of the logistics. Everything was how it should be.

"C'mon, Kie. All we have left to do is hang the front sign, then we'll be up and running. What do you say? Give me a hand?"
"Fine, I guess." I roll my eyes playfully and he grabs my hand, leading me down the dock to the big wooden building. I can't help but watch his muscles flex through his muscle tank as he pulls me forward, his tan skin glistening in the sun.
    "Grab this corner; I'll grab the other," he tells me when our feet hit the wooden deck, grabbing the banner with "Kildare County Surfboard Co." written messily across it. We all wanted Sarah to write it because her handwriting is the best out of all of us, but JJ insisted it be him, claiming it was his land anyway. To be honest, we were all just too scared to disagree with him. "Yeah, just like that. Now, yeah, pull a little to the left." I move the banner back and forth with JJ until Sarah comes to watch, letting us know that it's perfectly centered.
    "Looks beautiful!" She cheers, round, sun-damaged cheeks squeezing up to her eyes in a wide grin, face lighting up. "Guys, come see!" She calls for the others in her bliss. I'm happy seeing her happy. She's been so much better since the doctor's appointment; the confirmation was just what she needed to find herself again.
    "So when can we open?" Cleo asks, clapping her hand loudly onto Pope's bare shoulder, who silently winces in pain at the slap.
    "I mean," JJ looks around with a gleeful smirk on his face, holding his hands out to his side and looking around at our hard work. "Today seems-"
    "Yeah, today feels right." John B. looks at Sarah for confirmation as he speaks, trying to gauge what she's thinking. "Unless- I mean- unless you'd rather wait until tomorrow?" The girl opens her mouth widely in shock.
    "Absolutely not!" She wraps her arms around his neck, holding her hands together tightly as he spins her in a circle. He kisses her, and the blond girl tilts her head back and lets out a giggle. "This is perfect."
    "Yeah, we get it. Y'all are in love. Whatever." None of us like to admit it, and definitely not to their faces, but they are the perfect couple, like one out of a storybook. The moment is ruined when JJ slaps my arm repeatedly, silver rings stinging against my skin.
    "Ow! What the fuck, dude?!" I slap him back, square in the jaw, but I do it softly as not to hurt him too badly. I immediately feel bad, realizing that he was only trying to catch my attention.
"A boat! It's a boat!" He's right. From my spot on the front porch, I can see a pristine runabout, accompanied by two older men who are now waving in our direction, pulling up by one of the docks.
"You kids got any live bait!?" One man asks, cupping his calloused hands around his mouth to amplify the yell.
"Sure as hell do, sir! Caught fresh this morning," JJ yells back through similar hands, and he winks at the man even though he isn't close enough for him to see. "Just pull up right there and I'll get you set!" He's overly excited, and I'm just as excited watching him do what he loves. My eyes follow his figure through the just barely crooked wooden windows of the shop, his blonde hair bouncing with his step. As he walks down the dock to the two men, bait fish in hand, the older of the two puts a hand out.
    "Here you go, boy. A little extra for all your friends too." Our first dollar.
The six of us sit patiently, silent and unmoving, as we watch the sunlight glimmer in the water that splashes behind the speeding boat. Once the motor is out of sight, we peer around at each other, waiting for the first person to cheer, and, of course, it's JJ.
"Oh yeah, baby!" He skips over to me and shakes my shoulders in excitement.
"That's our first dollar!" Cleo shouts back.
"We gotta put it up," Sarah suggests, pinching one of the bills from JJ's grip and running through the shop doors, the blonde boy chasing after her. "Stapler? Anyone?"
"You think we have a stapler?" John B. pouts his lips and raises his eyebrows at her, grabbing her hand for support as she climbs onto the counter. "I got a nail gun." He hands it to her carefully, and she shrugs in acceptance.
"Sarah, I swear to God, those shoes better be clean; we just got these counters. And please, for the love of everything, be careful with that nail gun," I tell the girl, holding my face in my hands worried for what could go wrong.
"Yeah, let's not forget what happened last time," Pope says shakily, holding up his bandaged hand above his head and waving it for Sarah to see.
    "Okay, well, sue me! That was my first time; I'm basically a pro now," she rebuts, her face contorting into one of aggravation and annoyance. She sticks her tongue a little ways out of her mouth in concentration, then holds the green bill up to the support beam closest to her and nails it into the wood. "See? Pro." The girl turns back around to face us, and her button nose slowly scrunches up in excitement.
    "That's our first dollar," JJ breathes out, and he sounds like he's in disbelief. He grabs Sarah's hand before she can get off of the counter by herself and helps her jump off safely. It warms my heart.
    "Yes, sir!" Pope chants, double high-fiving his not-so-secret girlfriend. They still haven't told us they're dating yet, not officially, at least, but we all know.
    "We should celebrate," John B. suggests. He looks at us with a certain look in his eyes. "Six-pack?"
    "No drinking on the job, gold-boy. It's your first day; no getting fired yet." Cleo moves to hit the boy upside his head, and he ducks a little, but he's too late to escape her attack. "Plus, me and Pope gotta go to mainland and put up some flyers, don't we now?"
    "Yes, ma'am." Pope salutes the girl, and we say our farewells to the couple.
    "Alright, Sarah, me and JJ are gonna head out to go pick up some supplies from Ed's on Main, so you and JB are on your own to man the store." Ed's on Main is a small general store near Heyward's owned by the boys' old surf instructor. He's been letting us scavenge around his store for the past month, and I saw a cooler the other day I really wanted. Sarah's mouth opens into an O, and her eyebrows furrow angrily.
    "Are you kidding? It's the first day!?"
    "Let's pretend it's not. We'll start for real tomorrow. You know I love you!" I hurriedly prance down the front steps, hoping she's not chasing after me.
    "Don't pretend like you guys don't want some alone time!" JJ calls to the girl behind him, who is now slamming the door shut, both middle fingers in full view from the window. The boy makes a moaning sound and puts his fingers together in a mocked kissing motion.
    "Screw you, perv!"

"That was the turn, Kie." The boy tells me from the passenger seat, his hand flying to his forehead.
"Ugh, shit!" I slam on the brakes with a loud screech, hoping no one is coming close behind me. "Should I just wait until I can U-turn a little further up?"
"Nah, three-point turn. You got that, baby." I wince as I turn the car around, and it definitely takes me more than three points to get there.
Once we're parked in the small parking lot and walking into the store, I take the band on my wrist and tie my hair into a loose bun, preparing to carry the heavy cooler to the van.
"Hey, kids! In for that cooler?" The old man calls from his familiar spot behind the cash register.
"Yes, sir."
"Straight back. Got a sticky note with your name on it."
"Thank you, Ed! You have a good day!" I call out to the old man as JJ and I carry the big item out of the door, red paint chipping into my hands in the process. While we get the cooler situated into the back of the Twinkie, I hear footsteps behind me, and before I can turn around, there's a voice.
"Hey, Kie." I'd recognize the grit of the voice anywhere, as little as I'd like to admit it. JJ spins around immediately, and I can tell he's planning on acting violently towards the boy.
"JJ, no," I say to him in a stern voice, motioning for him to get in the car. He hesitates for a second, but ultimately gets in his seat and shuts the door with a slam, cursing under his breath.
"What do you want, Rafe?" I sigh and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly, the bright southern sun making me squint one eye closed.
"What makes you think I want something?" He smirks, and his smugness boils my blood. How can he be so nonchalant in this moment after everything that's happened? "Just doing some shopping at... Ed's." The boy has to search for the sign before finishing his sentence and gesturing towards the large red words.
"Like I'm supposed to believe that." I say, moving my face into a sneer and praying to anyone that I'll be let go of this torture soon.
"Just wondering how you're doing. I saw Sarah the other day at the house."
"I'm not doing this, Rafe." I start to leave the conversation and accidentally back into the van before I turn around, my cheeks turning pink in embarrassment. "I'm great. JJ's great. I really don't need you coming in like this. Please, Rafe." I ashamedly walk around the van and take my place in the passenger seat this time.
"See you around, Kie." Rafe calls out through JJ's driver's side window.
"Yeah, I really doubt that, dude. Sayonara," JJ farewells as he starts the van, hands shaking in anger. The blond boy speedily backs out of the parking lot, leaving the taller boy standing alone. "Man, I really hate him."
"I know. I mean, he has no right coming along like this. Not after everything he's done to Sarah."
"No joke, I could seriously, like, cave his face in right now." He bites a pies of skin from the edge of his thumb.
"Okay, too far, Jayj." I look at the boy with warning-filled eyes, and he changes his demeanor, softening in compliance. There's a moment or two of silence, just the two of us sitting in each other's presence, the sun warming us through the cracked windshield.
"Do you think about him?" JJ asks me, and I feel myself get sick at the confrontation, even if he didn't mean it in that way.
"No. No. I'm not talking about this with you." I purse my lips and hold my hands by my head. "Absolutely not."
"It's just a question, and a pretty valid one, at that."
"JJ, that was years ago. I'm over it; you should be too." We don't ever talk about what happened between Rafe and me. Not even Sarah and I talk about it. It simply isn't relevant anymore.
"Yeah, but you're still on the island, and so is he. Not to mention, you guys were stuck in the same bedroom for a couple of days. You can't tell me you don't think about it sometimes."
"I don't. There's literally zero reason for me to think about it." I'm getting angry at the boy, but I'm trying my hardest not to yell.
"I just- I don't believe you." JJ says, slapping his hands down on the steering wheel as we pull down the long dirt road to the shop. As soon as we're in walking distance to the porch, I make JJ stop the car so I can get out with the slam of my door.
"Mh-mh. I'm not doing this right now." I shake my head at the boy who is still sitting in the van with emotionless eyes. "Come find me later when you can actually believe me."

Part of me knows he's right to be curious, but the other part feels hopeless trying to keep my past relationship in the dark. I guess even the darkest secrets come out eventually.

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