WARNING: IF SUICIDE MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE DON'T READ
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You stood at his grave. It has been almost 2 months now that he had passed.
"I was never ready for you to leave." You said as you looked up to the heavens, hoping that he could hear you. Hoping that he was watching down on you.
You held the note he left you on your front porch, the night of his passing.
Y/N,
You should know that I love you. You helped me get through all these tough times. But lately, it just hasn't been working. The hate, it has been getting to me. I know, I am usually the one telling you to stay strong for me. And even though I won't physically be here anymore, I still need you to stay strong for me. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to cry over me. Because I didn't do this to hurt you. I was helping myself. I was helping myself get through the hardest times. I helped myself by making it all stop. I am not sure if it truly works yet, so promise me, you wont do this to yourself. I don't want you to be sad. I will be watching over you from heaven. I will make sure nothing bad comes your way. I don't want you to be sad about this. We said forever. And forever means forever. Even if that means, our forever will just start when we both thought it was over for both of us. Our forever will start in heaven. But for now we can just say I love you. But I guess if I love you, then I should let you move on... Love you forever.
~Matthew Espinosa
You closed your eyes and re-read the last sentence. You remembered the last words he said to you when you two were together were those words.
You held the tear stained paper close to you and looked up at the heavens once again.
"Well Matt, my plans for today haven't changed much from last Friday's plans. I have my online session in the morning. And then my dad is taking me out to lunch. And I think he is dropping me off here so I can spend my Friday afternoons with you. It may not be us sitting in front of your couch watching our Netflix marathons with your left over pizza from the night before. But we will still be together. Like our Friday's used to be. Just you and me." You said as you looked back and forth between the tomb stone with his name and birthday and date of death on it, and the sky above you.
You then stood up and headed for your walk back to your house to start your school work for the day.
When you got back home you hurried up and did your school because you knew that the sooner you could go to lunch with your dad, meaning that you could visit Matt soon.
You finally finished your school work and you called your dad. "Daddy. I'm ready." You said as he picked up the phone.
"Honey, we aren't going to lunch today. We have Matt's memorial..." Your dad whispered into the phone in a soothing voice.
You were dreading the day his parents finally would announce his memorial service because you knew it meant that you would have to say goodbye to him. And you never wanted to say goodbye to him.
"Oh, right. Well... See you then." You said into your phone as you let out a soft sob.
You hung up the phone and changed into your dress that your mom had bought you for your grandmothers funeral.
Around 15 minutes later, your dad arrived at your front door. He greeted you with 'hello' and 'how are you?' But you just couldn't answer. You couldn't speak.
When you reached the church were this service was being held at you felt a tear roll down your cheek.
"Honey, Matt wants you to be strong for him..." Your dad said as he put a hand on your shoulder for support.
