Beautiful Things (SeaChaos)

Part 23 - Distrust

~Chilled's POV~

"Chilled... I want you off the Nanners case." I blink, confused for a moment before yesterday's conversation comes to my mind and I just roll my eyes and turn away.

"Why specifically that one? Well at least it's not my whole fucking job," I complain and Adam just stays silent, no laughter or anything showing he' messing around but just awkward silence. He has been acting strangely, then again he always acts strange, suspicious. Or maybe I've just been playing too many games with him. At least that's what I'd like to think rather than him actually being suspicious. This is all just confusing mind games shit and I'm just letting him mess around with me like this just because I happen to like a guy quite a lot. Damn it, before him I wasn't one bit interested in men in the first place, besides just pretending with Ze that's about the gayest I've gone. Adam looks over to me suddenly, looking away from whatever he had been doing on his laptop with a surprisingly serious expression.

"At least a break or something. Hasn't that been the case affecting you? Like last night?" I hesitate, running a hand through my hair and leaning forward on the couch,hugging onto my knees. It's really obvious, I only become like this after something that has been done relating to Nanners it's clear to anybody it's the Nanners case that is draining me lately. Basically anybody I know have knowledge it's all due to Nanners, even Jess who doesn't even live here anymore knows well that I'm having troubles. Despite knowing all of this, I'm holding a grudge. I'm holding a damn grudge against the guy and that is a large reason as to why I'm doing this case in the first place with such desire to finish this and arrest the fucker. Then many components to this case collide with my personal life and I just can't think, but I know that no matter what I want to be the one to capture him and figure out the puzzle in the end.

"I'll think about it. It all depends on Sark in the end," I explain and Adam seems displeased but turns away from me, continuing at look at his laptop. I silently watch him without thinking about much at all. If this guy turned out to be Nanners - what would I do? Blinking several times I feel as if thinking about it is useless because I should trust in him but there's no harm in thinking about what ifs, right? Focusing on him again I imagine him as Nanners. Posture, scent, speech, it's all already basically identical to Nanners. I shake my head and turn away from him, I should stop thinking like that, comparing the two. But, if he was... I would probably turn him in. Probably in fucking confusion at first, because I trust in him so much I also would probably have hoped that in turning him in we'd research into him a lot more before we could find something that would prove his innocence. But over the technical things that have to be done, I wonder how my feelings will be affected.

"Well, I guess it's time for you to get to work," Adam suddenly says, shutting his laptop and glancing towards me. "You're already all cleaned up and ready anyways, just waiting on me?" I don't answer him as he stands up, laying his laptop back in it's spot and turns to me, offering his hand out. He's nice, when he wants to be. Otherwise he's a little son of a bitch I feel extremely frustrated about but when it comes down to it he does have his very few good qualities. Taking his hand I do not expect him pulling me back causing me to stumble onto him while he raps his arms around me. I widen my eyes as I feel this man wrapping me in his grasp and sigh, it's like he's enjoying the fact I love him while also mocking me for it.

"Adam, what are you going to do with me?" His grasp on me becomes looser and he steps back to look me in the eye, nothing but confusion in his expression and I immediately regret asking. "I mean - I don't mean, well I just don't know where this is going. Should I stay around hoping you would turn to me for once or should I work on giving up on you? I just don't get it," I admit and Adam stares at me, seeming shocked by the sudden confession but after a decent time passes he takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, turning away from me.