Beautiful Things (SeaChaos)

Part 10 - Relationship Problems

~Nanners' POV~

"So we... agree?" I stay silent, my fingers toying with the fabric of the small blanket on the leather couch while my eyes continue to focus on the blank floor. Although my mind is blank there are many thoughts wandering around, left untouched for now but only allowed to be calmly roaming around. There's obviously something going on between Chilled and me, whether he knows it or not and I'm pretty sure he knows about it well, at least with SeaNanners. I've come into terms with it for a while now but the latest theft absolutely confirmed it. I just don't want to take it any more serious than I already am subconsciously. If I do take it any more serious then the risk of being caught and have my heart broken into a million pieces will become an imminent future. This is trouble with detectives, I cant fall for them or they will ruin me in the end. I have to focus on convincing myself I'm not doing this for fun. Holding my head with my fingers circled around my mouth I have no choice but to nod, answering the question truthfully to the one person I could never lie to.

"Okay then, well, I guess I'll move my stuff to the guest room. I understand if you still need to pretend," Cathy explains, tears rimming at her eyes just as mine are being held back in the tear ducts. This is the, what, fifth time we're taking a break? Somehow I just have a feeling that it will be the last break we're taking. After this it's either we're being stupid and are absolutely meant for each other, or we've been having doubts all of these times for good reasons. In my opinion I'd like for it to be the latter choice, because if it's the first I feel as if all of this time we've just been being idiots and running around in circles without having any real reason. I'd rather the running around be for a good reason rather than having no valid reason.

"I'll see you later, Nanners," Cathy says sadly before stepping out of the room and entering our room, dragging her feet while she does so. I glance after her before turning back to the blank floor, feeling a bit of guilt pang at my chest although Cathy was the one who suggested the break. This is the first time she was the one who suggested it, usually it's brought up by me and she'll have to go along with me because what's the point of having a relationship when one is having large doubts the other can't do anything about? Finally I decide to stand up from the couch and head over to the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of lemonade Cathy had made the other day but I hesitate before drinking. She used my little nickname she had given me years ago, it's actually more heartbreaking than it would have been if she had used my real name. Strangely enough I feel like the name SeaNanners has lost it's true meaning now without the one who practically created him.

I wonder if this is how Chilled felt after the break up with Jess. It'd make sense, he seemed so empty afterwards and has only recently seemed to recover some of the life and energy he had always held in him before breaking up with Jess. Somehow I feel the desire to call him right now, explain everything and have him come over here to comfort me in return but I'm aware I can't say anything like that, nothing even similar to that because to everyone Cathy and I are still together. After something like last night it's to be expected that SeaNanners would be having struggles romantically after having kissed Chilled, a male detective. Although it's a very subtle clue any clue can end up killing me in the end. Instead of calling Chilled, I skim through every one of my contacts until I find some in particular, my old friends from the last town. Why not? It's been a while. I quickly retreat into my office and sit at the desk, opening up my programs and skin through the Skype list until I find Gassy. Hesitating, I decide to call him along with others from my old town, Ohm, Minx, Nogla.

Gassy ends up also accepting and his addition to the group actually added a lot of fun to the usual fun we would have. Lots of laughs and anger is caused within every game and I somehow find myself lighten up after my dark attitude a few moments ago. When Ohm, Minx, and Nogla have to leave because their times are way different and it's nearly midnight for them, Gassy decides to add in a few other guys. It ends up with Diction and Chilled being added in, much to my liking, and we start up a game of Prop Hunt and I'm almost immediately yelled at like usual for using my usual spots. Even in my old town people used to hate playing against me while loving playing with me. It's entertaining hearing Chilled overreact over everything while playing with each small thing making mini games and completely annoying Gassy who is taking things seriously on their team. At last, as expected, Diction and I win and we nearly start another session until a familiar yell is heard.