I was sitting at the edge of my bed, reading the lesson, and planning to have a advance lesson. Nakatulala talaga, nagpapanggap lang ako na mag-aaral ako ngayong gabi.
Because I am still thorned on what course I will take for my college.
But I badly want to become a lawyer, and pursue law.
I am at the middle of a abyss when a soft knock caught my attention, bumukas ito at si Mama ang bumungad.
A big smile on her face, makes me feel nervous now. As if she knew something that I didn't know.
"I heard that you will join the pageant. So you finally accept that our family have this kind of—"
"Sumali lang ako kasi pinilit ako, but it doesn't mean na ipapatuloy ko s'ya, I am more willing to become academically active, kesa sa puro pageant." Dineretsyo ko na si Mama. Because she will pushed me or try to encourage me to become a beauty queen.
Because she is expecting me to become a beauty queen. Back in her prime, she is indeed a beauty queen at her campus, and joined a lot of pageants.
Kaso, natigil ng makilala si Papa and then my brother, nabuo hanggang sa pinili na ni Mama maging house wife.
It's a plain role for me, it's not that it's easy. Pero I know that her prime ended early, or maybe it's because she found her love of her life, kaya pinili ni Mama ito.
"It's like a nepo baby." I put down my notes and Mama hold my hand.
"Well, it's not that bad to use the opportunity to become something that you want, diba. If you're capable of being a beauty queen, bakit hindi? For the experience and enjoyment." Mama hold my hand and I just shrugged my shoulder and look at the ceiling of my room.
“I don’t want another responsibility, ang hirap kaya at ayoko mawalan ng oras sa pamilya ko, lalo na ngayon na magiging Tita na ako, mas gusto ko mag-focus sa alam ko na magagawa ko lahat, hindi ko kaya ang commitment sa beauty competition, Mama.” Paliwanag ko kay Mama at ngumiti s’ya ng mapait.
Hindi ko kaya tuparin ang pangarap ni Mama para sa akin.
“Naiintindihan ko anak, pero kung sa school lang naman, hindi s’ya mabigat. Mag-luluto na ako, don’t forget to check if your Kuya is okay,” paalala ni Mama at tuluyan na ako iniwan sa kwarto ko, finally!
I decided to take a quick break, and messages pop up and it’s my little brother. “Sumama ka sa party ko, para dalawa tayong papagalitan kapag mahuli tayo?” natawa ako matapos basahin ang message sa akin, siraulo talaga itong walanghiya na iyon.
I replied okay and nagbihis, sasama ako totoo at may point s’ya, para hindi iisa ang papagalitan at least dalawa kami.
Simon ay napaka walanghiya, halos araw-araw na ata s’ya nasa party, dinaig n’ya pa ako at talagang nakakapasok sa bar kahit underage s’ya. I just pick some simple halter top and baggy pants and my bag. Paglakabas ko naming ng kwarto ay naka abang na s’ya at ng makita ako ay lumakad na kami agad pababa.
“Asaan ang sasakyan?” bulong ko at dahan-dahan kaming lumabas, naka lock na kwarto naming dalawa para hindi agad malaman na walang tao sa kwarto.
“Nasa labas na, bilisan mo napaka liit kasi ng biyas.” Tinaasan ko ng kilay at inismiran.
“Tanga ka, kailan pa naging maliit ang 5’8 sa iyo, tanga ka?” inis ko na saad at ng makasakay kami sa kotse, pinaharurot n’ya na agad, nakasimangot ako sa passenger seat.
“Inaasikaso mo pa ba ang schoolworks mo?” Tumango naman ito sa akin ngayon.
“Pag-sabihan mo nga yung soccer team, masyadong mga hambog, akala mo naman kung sino.” I rolled my eyes and waited until we reached the bar.
