I feel thorned, between going out or staying at my room. My mind is clouded by the memories of what happened yesterday.
Para akong sasabog sa kaba, tuwa at pagkabitin. Halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko ngayon, but all I can say is I am fucking alright now. At kahit ayoko bumangon, obligado akong bumangon para tignan ang nangyayare sa bahay namin, dahil kanina pa may maingay sa baba.
Wala at hindi bukal sa loob ko na lumabas ako at mas lalong lumakas ang sigawan na kanina ay parang ingay lang sa room ko. Kumunot lalo ang noo ko ng madinig ko ang tatay ko na nasigaw ngayon, that's unusual and kinakabahan ako lalo sa mga nadidinig ko.
"Ano ba namang ginawa mo! Panganay ka tapos nung nakabuntis ka, tinakbuhan mo? Hindi ka namin pinalaki ng ganyan, you're a fucking disappoinment, Philip!" Papa said at mabilis akong bumaba sa hagdan, Kuya was there, naka salampak sa sahig, at may babae sa sofa, may bata na dala at kamukhang kamukha ni Kuya Philip.
Simon was there, inaalalayan na tumayo si Kuya Philip at ako rin naman ay dinaluhan ang kapatid ko.
"What's happening here?" I asked them and Papa just roll his eyes, Mama is crying at the side and the woman who's holding a kid is watching every reaction that she saw af the living room.
"I'm so sorry if ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob, I am afraid, because Philip used to hurt me physically before and I know once he discovered that I am pregnant, he will push me to have an abortion—"
"Shut up, I know my brother and he can't do what you're saying and trying to explain, I know you're a fucking liar, I can see it!" sigaw ko at pinigilan naman ako ni Kuya sa pagtatanggol ko sa kanya.
"That's enough, Mariam Jeana!" Papa said and I can feel that he didn't like the way na ipagtanggol ko si Kuya.
"Philip, you'll marry this woman right now. I'll call your uncle and sign the marriage contract, you know that I will never tolerate your wrong doing," I can't even talk, what Papa said is a judgement to all of us. Totoo na si Mama ang madalas na nag-ddecide, pero kapag si Papa na ang nagsalita at naging seryoso, wala na kaming magagawa, susunod at susunod kami.
I started to cry, look at my brother na parang pinag sakluban ng langit at lupa sa desisyon ng tatay namin.
"Papa, don't say that. Why can't you try to undergo an DNA testing before letting your son to marry some random woman who's obviously lying—"
"Mariam, alam ko mahal mo Kuya mo, but how can you judge that woman who is clearly the mother of your nephew?" Ako naman na ang hindi nakapag salita.
"Anak, ilugar mo pagiging spoiled brat mo at matigas ang ulo, you know nothing about this situation, because all you know was to enjoy and become the princess of this family, what your brother did was unacceptable, he should take responsibility on his actions." Tumayo si Papa at kinuha ang phone n'ya.
Mama is crying, hinabol si Papa paalis sa living room, si Kuya naman ay hindi pa rin nakibo hanggang ngayon, Simon was still processing what he heard, dahil sabay lang kami halos bumaba noong madinig ko ang sigaw ni Papa.
"You shouldn't lie to my father, Georgia." Kuya stood up and walk away, mabilis ko na binalingan yung naanakan daw ni Kuya at tinignan ito ng masama.
"I feel that too, you're lying. My brother can't even lay a single finger his own siblings, tapos ikaw pa na babae? I hope what you are trying to do or if you want to ruin my brother's life, tandaan mo na hindi mo makukuha ang binabalak mo." Nilayasan ko ito at nag-uumpisa na umiyak yung bata sa tabi noong babae.
Hinabol ko si Kuya at nasa garden ito, he looked stressed and crying, Simon was there too. Hindi alam kung papaano gagawin sa Kuya namin ngayon. But all I can do was to cry and hug him tight.
