Just a little messed up

I'm superior

YEJI

I walk back to my apartment, I'm thinking about how Lia's life would have turned around so quick, now I think that I know nothing about her. And it's not like I should be knowing. But learning more and more about Lia is making me feel uneasy. 

What was that back there?

"Is he your son?" I asked, looking into her eyes. There was a lot of gaps between every sentence spoken by us. "Yes" she said, avoiding looking at me. I stand there for a minute, without saying anything, I'm blank.

I don't know what to say, I don't know if I can ask her questions, if she even wants me to know. I just nod once before trying to leave and get back into my apartment. "Good night" she said before I got in. I nodded once again wishing her back. 

Everything seems very weird, I don't know how to reciprocate this information. Did she get married? If she did, then why isn't she living with her husband? 

And if not that, then why would she act like a batchelor, living alone. She yet again left me in a series of questions, which I don't have the right to ask. I know myself, my mind won't left me sleep now. I cannot even pull an all nighter. 

__________________

I lay in bed, thinking about the little child. He looks so much like Lia, he is definitely the cutest. His eyes, and his nose, it feels like they were cut and pasted from Lia's. And what about the tiny little hope that grew in me? That maybe I can still try on her. I should stop thinking about myself, I can never have her, she was never mine. 

So tonight is the night when I finally accept that I'm not gonna try to get her. I wasn't trying anyways, but I still feel like I got my heart crushed. I just think s lot maybe. 

Should I call over Ryujin? But she's always into work, I don't wanna get more disappointed tonight, if she refuses to come over. And while I was thinking about so many things at the same time. I got a text from the best person. 

________________

"I just wanna ask" she trailed off. "Yeah?" She's lying on my arm, her head putting all its weight, making my arm sore. But I don't mind it. I can feel her back to my front. Sticking close to each other, feeling those slight sweaty bodies. "No strings attached?" She asked. I think about it for a second, what does she wants to hear from me? "Not at all, do you feel any other way?" I asked, "oh, no. In fact it's best this way" she said. 

I cuddle into her, she knows very well that I crave physical contact more than anything. "You can hold it" she laughed, placing my hand on her tit. I was more than happy to keep my hand there, feeling her. "Are you okay?" She asked. Turning to face me after a few minutes. 

."I'm good" I said, there was still a thought of Lia at the back of my head. 

"Maybe you want me to go down on you?" She winked, I love this cocky attitude and oh God, she's amazing with her tongue. "Sure baby" I said.

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The next morning was giving me a headache. I cannot think of anything, I don't even have the energy to open my eyes and look at the time. But not feeling the weight on my side made me worry about missing work. Taeyeon might have left already, she wouldn't stay over for longer and she wouldn't even wale me up.