I hate you. || woosan ||

|| part 29 ||

San pov:

Snow fell from our hair and coats as we held hands and hurriedly walked back to our dorm. We stumbled through the halls as we messily made out. It was a clash of teeth and tongue, but it felt so loving. I moved my lips to his jawline to continue my messy kisses there. Wooyoung slapped his hand over his mouth to stop any lewd noises from coming out, we were in the hallway after all. I left soft marks across his neck and jaw, which should disappear by tomorrow.

As we arrived at our door i didn't immediately open it. I pushed wooyoung against the door and cupped his face, kissing him more properly. Wooyoung's hands roamed over my back, holding me close. He tried to tug my jacket off but it was to no avail. I blindly unlocked the door, quickly pulling wooyoung inside to continue making out with him.

I slammed him onto a all to familiar spot. Blood rushed downwards as I realised where we stood. I had pushed him against the wall at the entrance of our dorm, the exact place where we fucked for the last time. I saw his eyes largen as he realised it to. Back then I had him pliant, pressed against the wall, following every one of my orders. Fuck, thinking about the moment alone already makes me so fucking hard.

I reached for Wooyoung's scarf and coat, quickly discarding them on to the floor. I also made quick work of my extra layers and moved to his neck again. Wooyoung softly whined as I sucked on the spots I knew he loved. The spots where he saw stars, where he saw heaven.

"S-sannie-... please-" he choked out. His voice sounded desperate, almost begging. I tightened my grip on his waist as I got lost in the feeling of his body more and more. Wooyoung squirmed under my touch. 

I reached for his belt and slowly undid it, sliding it through the loops of his black jeans. After that I started working on his pants, slowly unbuttoning them. Wooyoung's grip on my biceps tightened as I slowly undid the zipper of his pants.

I was completely lost in this lustrous and desperate feeling, which was caused by Wooyoung's body. With every inch of wooyoung that I touched, I only wanted more and more. I can't get enough of his sinful body. His scent, his voice, the way he feels, it is all so magnetic. It lures me in every time. It's like I'm the monster and he's the pray.

Maybe I got too lost in this feeling.

I felt wooyoung squirm under me again. This time with more power. Like he tried to escape. I pulled back from his neck to look up at his beautiful face again, only to see it stained with tears. My ability to hear quickly returned to me. I heard sobs coming from wooyoung. I heard his prays. I heard it all now.

"-please s-stop, San-" he hiccuped through his tears. My eyes widened. What happened? My hands flew to his face out out of worry, cupping his cheeks. My eyes scanned his face to see if he was hurt, but I saw nothing.

"What's wrong, Woo?!" I worriedly asked.

"P-please stop-" he said as he stopped squirming. He just held my arms. It felt like he wanted to push me away, but wanted me to stay close at the same time.

"I'm stopping- I stopped. What's wrong?" I asked him again. I brushed his tears away with my thumb. His hands traveled up to my wrists, holding them tightly.

"I won't hurt you. I won't do anything you don't want me to do." It clicked. He was afraid- fuck, terrified. I moved to fast, I broke our rule, I crossed the line. Intimacy probably terrifies him after what Finn did to him last week. How could I forget? I felt guilt weighing me down as I realised that he associated loving gestures and intimacy with fear and pain.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so so-" I mumbled out.

I got cut off as he hugged me tightly. I put my hand behind his head, pushing his face to rest on my shoulder. I felt his tears soak my sweater. I felt terrible. Tears also started to form in my eyes  as I realised how careless I have been. I should've asked for consent. I should've asked if he was okay with this- if he even wanted this!