I hate you. || woosan ||

|| part 32 ||

I woke up to the feeling of a warm breath on my chest. I looked down and in my arms I found Wooyoung, sleeping peacefully- beautifully. Our legs tangled underneath his white bedsheets. I couldn't help but admire his sleepy beauty. His messy hair rested on his face gracefully. His lashes long and soft. The soft sunlight that crept through the curtains cast a beautiful glow on his face, making him shine.

I let my hand wander under his pyjama shirt and caressed his soft skin. I didn't even think before I placed a soft kiss on his nose. He slightly shifted closer to me in his sleep. God, he is adorable.

I reached behind me and grabbed my phone. 7 in the morning. I wonder when Wooyoung's lessons start. I might have to wake him up too, but I don't want to disturb him.

I didn't want to get out of bed, but I had to. I looked back at Wooyoung and than back at the clock. I hesitated before I got out of bed. I didn't want to, not at all. I didn't want to leave Wooyoung's side.

I hate this. I hate that I'm falling for him- falling this hard for him. It's wrong, it's bad. Can't I just fall in love with a girl? With someone who I can come home with? What if I just tried one more time? If I try hard enough I can fall for a girl, right?

But that isn't what I want. At least I don't think that's what I want. I like wooyoung. Fuck, why is love so hard.

I got up on my feet and made my way to my own room. I carefully opened and shut the door, trying to not wake wooyoung up. I threw one some comfortable clothes since I only have 1 lecture today and I just wanted some peace before the storm, the storm being the uncomfortable suit that I'll have to wear all evening. I grabbed my backpack and stuffed a notebook, my laptop and pencils inside.

I looked at my phone again, 7:15. I should go and make breakfast, but first I should wake up wooyoung.

I carefully opened the door and made my way to Wooyoung's side. The morning sunlight was still shining on him. I took a moment to just... admire him. His hair looked so soft. It was hard to keep myself from touching it. It felt so silky when I touched it yesterday. I just want to go back.

I don't know what overcame me yesterday. What happened in seonghwa's room and Wooyoung's room, it haunts me in a both positive and negative way. It felt so right. His body in my arms, his breath on my lips, his lips in general, it is all driving me crazy. But just thinking about tonight, what I know will happen, saddens me.

Why did I invite him anyway? I know what would happen. My family won't allow us to ever be something. I know that I would be like a slap in their face, an insult. Their son, their pride and joy, is a part of the lgbt. Or like they like to call it, a faggot.

I shook the nasty thoughts away and focussed on wooyoung again. I crouched down next to him and softly shook his shoulder.

"Wooyoung, wake up. You have to be in your lecture in 40 minutes." He shifted a little under the sheets until his body was facing the way where the sound- my voice- came from. His eyes slowly fluttered open. A smile grew on his face as I came into his vision.

"Sannie~" he said in a sleepy voice. Before I could react he pulled me down onto the bed which also meant onto him. His giggles filled the room as he wrapped his arms and legs around me. I was still processing what was happening as he spoke again.

"Why did you leave the bed already?" He said in a pouty tone.

"I had to get ready, woo." I struggled. Wooyoung was kinda wrestling me at this point, what was he even trying to do? I can't deny that it is cute though.

"Why didn't you wake me up too? You said you wanted to wake up with me in your arms, so why didn't I wake up with you holding me?" He said, now sitting on top of me. I held his hips in an attempt to keep him stable.