Different colors of flag || jikook

Chapter 32

The weekend faded too quickly, leaving behind the warmth of stolen moments, soft laughter, and whispered promises. But as Monday arrived, so did the change in Jk. It was subtle at first shorter replies, distracted glances, and a growing distance I couldn’t quite bridge. At first, I thought it was just the stress of classes or family pressure creeping in, but soon, it became something more.

He stopped waiting for me after lectures. Our texts became sparse, and when we did talk, it felt... forced. The warmth in his voice, the playful teasing it was all slipping away. And I felt it.

One evening, after hours of waiting for him to text me back, I finally gathered the courage to confront him. I found him sitting alone in the library, flipping through a textbook but clearly not focused. I sat across from him, clearing my throat softly.

“Jk… are you avoiding me?” I asked, my voice quieter than I intended.

He didn’t look up immediately, just exhaled before closing his book. “I’m not avoiding you,” he said, but the hesitation in his voice betrayed him. “I just... think you should spend time with your other friends too. You don’t always have to be with me.”

His words hit me harder than I expected. My chest tightened, and I felt an ache settle in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Jk looked at me then, his eyes tired. "I just think... it's not healthy to depend on me for everything. You should have your own space, your own life outside of us."

I swallowed hard, forcing a smile. "I thought we were part of each other’s lives, Jk. Did I... do something wrong?"

His gaze softened for a moment, but he shook his head. "No, you didn’t. It’s just... I have a lot on my plate right now. My family, exams, everything. I don’t want you to feel neglected because I can't be there all the time."

I nodded, pretending to understand, pretending it didn’t hurt. "Yeah... I get it," I lied. "You’re busy. I’ll... I’ll back off a little."

Jk reached for my hand across the table, but I pulled away gently, standing up. “I should go,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Good luck with everything.”

As I walked out of the library, my heart felt heavier than ever. I blinked away the sting in my eyes, telling myself that it was okay, that I could handle it. But deep down, I felt like I was slipping away from him, like I was becoming just another person in his life instead of his person.

Days passed, and the distance between us grew. We stopped meeting up for coffee, our late-night calls became rare, and I found myself sitting alone at lunch, pretending not to care. Jk was still around laughing with his friends, busy with his studies but he wasn’t with me.

I tried to distract myself by hanging out with others, but it wasn’t the same. Every time I saw him across the campus, a pang of longing would hit me. I wanted to ask him if he missed me, if he regretted pushing me away, but I was too scared to hear the answer.

And then... the worst part happened.

One evening, I saw him walking with her. Somi. They were laughing, heads leaning close as they walked side by side. My heart clenched painfully. Is this what he meant? Was he replacing me?

I didn't say anything. I just watched from a distance, feeling invisible, feeling small.

That night, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering when exactly I had lost him or if I ever really had him at all.

After that night, something shifted inside me. Maybe it was self-respect, or maybe it was just exhaustion from trying too hard. Either way, I stopped waiting for Jk's messages. I stopped looking for him in crowded hallways, and I stopped hoping he’d come back with some grand explanation. Instead, I buried myself in my studies, my work, and everything else I had neglected because I was too busy making him my world.