Can You Chase Away The Darkness - Fuenciado

Chapter Thirteen

Jaime's POV:

I walked quickly done some corridors and out the first door I could find. It led to the outside, I saw a bench and headed straight for it. I needed to clear my head, things were getting too much. Seeing my Dad like that, it made it hard to have hope that he would get better. Vic wasn't making it any better, he rejected me, he didn't feel the same way. Yet there was a certain way he would look at me, or touch my arm - something that should be completely platonic but isn't. Maybe it was in my head, but either nothing made sense right now. I felt bad for being mean to Vic, the look on his face was running through my head.

I skimmed my finger over my bicep, all the old scars. A lot of them were covered by my tattoos or the sleeves from my t-shirt, but some were still visible and that's the way I like it. I had been clean for years now, sure I'd had the urge to break that, many times but never as much as right now. I ran over to our tour bus, that was still sitting awkwardly to the side of the car park. I searched through my stuff, I knew it was there - it was always there - I couldn't bring myself to not pack it.

One cut, down. My arm stung, but I knew as I kept going I would begin to feel numb. I felt nauseous, I had been clean for so long - but there was no other way. I watched as the second cut seeped blood, the little beads growing bigger and bigger. My head was suddenly completely clear, a third cut below the other two and I began to feel faint. I crawled into my bunk, I needed to sleep this off. Abstract dreams, while reality blended with my thoughts.

~

I woke up to a wet sensation on my arm, I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. Someone was patting at my cuts with a damp cloth, I knew it wouldn't be Tony, as he wasn't keen on blood.

"Vic?" I called out.

"Uh no, it's me Mike" The person said.

I used all my power to open my eyes and seen Mike sitting beside me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Cleaning you up before any one else finds out what you've done" He said, 

like it was the most normal thing in the world.

My wounds barely even stung, Mike was good at this. Which brought me to the question, why was he good at this?

"How are you so good at this?" I asked.

"I've had experience" He shrugged.

"You mean you-" I began to ask.

"No, no. Not me" He replied, cutting me off.

~

I sat up, thinking about the dream I had one. The cuts I had sliced into my arm and how Mike cleaned them up for me. I pushed myself up with my arms, a shooting pain ran through my arm. I lifted the sleeve from my t-shirt and there they were.

It wasn't a dream.

I slid out of the bunk and walked to the lounge area. Tony and Mike sat playing FIFA on the Xbox, I glanced at Mike remembering our conversation. He shot me a sympathetic smile and as soon as Tony looked at him, returned back to his normal prickly, sarcastic self. The Mike we all knew and loved.

"Do you guys know where Vic is?" I asked.

"I think he's in the back, last I checked he was fiddling with his guitar" Tony replied, unable to pry his eyes from the screen.

I wandered to the back of the bus, I wanted to apologise. It wasn't Vic's fault my Dad was in hospital, I needed to keep our problem separate. He sat with his back to me, every couple of seconds strumming the strings and then fiddling with them again. I cleared my throat awkwardly. He turned around, his deep brown eyes meeting mine.

"Hey" I smiled, hoping he wasn't annoyed about earlier.

"Oh, hey Hime" He answered, looking surprised to see me.

"Vic look, I'm really sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have taken it out on you and-" I began.

"Say no more Hime, I understand" He said waving his hand.

I sat down on the ground next to him, crossing my legs, curious to see what he was up to.

"I can't get this note to sound right" He said, sounding slightly irritated.

"Just try this" I chuckled, fiddling a bit and then strumming my finished piece.

"That's perfect" He exclaimed, smiling.

His eyes caught mine and then scanned me, his eyes quickly flickering to my new cuts.

"I never knew you-" Vic started.

I cut him off, I didn't want to hear the word.

"I know it's stupid, but I was weak for just one minute and that's all it took" I sighed, hoping he'd at least try to understand.

"It's not stupid, I understand, we all have mistakes" He said, pulling his shirt up slightly to reveal his hips full of old scars.

They were barely noticeable without looking closely.

"It had been years and I just threw it all away" I mumbled.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, I would have down the same in your place. What matters now is keeping your promise to me" Vic smiled.

"What promise?" I asked.

"The one where you won't cut and if you ever do feel like you want to, you'll come and talk to me" Vic said.

"I'll try my hardest to keep it" I told him earnestly.

He held out his pinky finger to link with mine, I hadn't done this kind of thing since I was eight and had just told my friend my latest crush. I hooked mine around his.

"I promise"