I Became The Villain's Secretary

Chapter 23

There was no way around it.

'Stop looking at me with those eyes...'

He felt somewhat annoyed. Until almost a year ago he had to deal with ordinary people, but now he had to deal with such eyes.

That's not fair.

Plus Devland's hand being on the back of his neck was even more unnerving, because it was so large it could easily grab his neck. What was Devland's goal? To strangle him? To tear off his head?

It didn't exactly seem like Devland had bad intentions, but with such a stare Renar couldn't help but feel a lump in his throat.

He even shivered a bit when Devland suddenly put his hand in the back of his neck, because the palm felt so cold.

Any person would have mistaken him for dead.

"So? Why aren't you trying to deny it, Renar? Are you really just treating me like this for fun?"

"No, I would never dare, Your Grace—"

"Yet you're letting your guard down, Ren." He cut him off. "It still feels like yesterday, when you didn't dare raise your head and talk back to me without making sure it was okay." He said, eyes narrowing while he brushed his fingers against Renar's neck.

'What's the deal with him? He is making me nervous!'

However, what Devland was saying wasn't completely wrong. Renar was letting himself loosen up a little around Devland, he wasn't as stiff as the first few months.

But at the same time Devland was wrong.

"Your Grace, if you allow me to explain, the reason I am behaving this way is not because I am taking you lightly." It was best to make it clear now, to avoid misunderstandings later, and then who knows, maybe Devland would start to understand a little more.

"..." Devland didn't know how to respond. Was that really the thing he was worrying about? Did he think Renar wasn't respecting him? He felt a bit conflicted. "So what's the reason?"

"Trust, Your Grace."

Devland's finger flinched a bit. What was he saying?

A bright smile formed on Renar's face. "You're starting to earn a good part of my trust, Your Grace." Renar explains.

"Trust?" Was it the back of Renar's neck that was hot or were his hands getting warm?

"Yes, Your Grace. Trust is one of the foundations of being able to establish a relationship with someone. You did a good job these past months and listened to my advice. So now I trust you more."

It wasn't something Devland had ever thought deeply about since returning from his first war.

Trust.

Devland knew of its importance, but was it really something fundamental? Because if that was the case, then why do wars exist? Diell's Empire had a relationship of trust with Yilli's, yet they ended up at war in an instant.

Renar could somehow sense his thoughts. All this time he did his research on Devland's life, being that the novel wasn't exactly reliable and barely dug into his life.

"Your Grace, trust is something you can only establish mutually." Pointing it out to him was important. "You too, Your Grace, are behaving differently towards me from the beginning. Don't you think so?"

Oh. Devland felt breathless. He had known Claude since birth, Jett since age five, and Adam since age seven, that's why he let's himself calmer around them. Their long-standing relationships and family ties made them the only ones he didn't consistently suspect.

But what about Renar? He's been here not even a full year, yet Devland was already treating him better than every other person.

“So what should I do?” Devland asked.

Renar tilted his head slightly. “Your Grace, my idea was that you use this feeling to realize how important it is to trust others.”

“So you're telling me that I already trust you to the point where I can trust others?”

Renar wanted to chuckle. "Your Grace, why on earth did you make me invite Lady Stuyvesant here then? Don't tell me you made me do it without trusting my judgement."

Devland stared at him with slightly wide eyes. The blood was rushing to his face, he could even feel it, so he released the back of Renar's head and turned away to walk towards his desk.

"I understand, Ren. But you have to be at the meeting with Lady Stuyvesant too. I don't think I'll trust her."

Renar sighed to hide his smile. “Your Grace, that is my duty, don't worry.” He assured him, sitting back down to finish signing some paperwork.

Devland could feel his heart beating. It wasn't out of the ordinary, he is a person who has been in war after all, having advanced hearing was a given.

But why was it so fast? What was this unbearable feeling? Was he sick? Impossible, he hasn't been feeling bad since his last war! So what is it?

Devland raised the hand that was previously on the back of Renar's head, and it looked normal.

So he turned slightly towards the window and his face was normal. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

'Maybe it's because he was looking at me with those eyes when he told me he trusted me.' That was Devland's prime suspect.

He had never heard someone say the word trust in front of him, no one had ever directly claimed to trust him. And in the midst of that, there must have been something wrong with Renar's eyes, which made him feel uneasy.

He looked up and saw Renar looking down, attention directed on the various papers neatly placed around him. He felt a need to see them again to stop his curiosity.

"Ren—"

But a knock on the door interrupts him, and Devland shuts his mouth. What was he going to do at that moment? Thank goodness someone interrupted him.

It was Adam, who entered the room with a big proud smile. "Your Grace, I brought you the glass of water!" He exclaimed, walking towards Devland, placing the glass on top of his desk.

Maybe it was an opportunity. "Adam." Devland called out.

"Mh? What is it, Your Grace?" Adam looked up at Devland, and the two made eye contact.

"..." Devland continued to stare, and Adam was a little creeped out. "Do you trust me?"

"Well, do I have a choice?" He whispered, raising an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Your Grace?"

Definitely nothing that made him feel weird. "Get out of my sight."

"???" Adam scrunched his face in annoyance, he felt offended for some reason. "As you wish."

'So what is it? I want Ren to look at me one more time and repeat that he trusts me, otherwise I won't be able to understand.'

Or maybe it was because it reminded him of Renar's look on the night of the ceremony?

Devland frowned at the thought and looked back at his documents. That was out of the question, the feeling he felt that day was very different. At that moment he really just wanted to open Renar's head and see what was going on inside.

Everything would be easier that way.

'But now I would like to open my own head and check what's wrong.'

It gave him so many strange emotions. Everything was okay before Renar came, but now his perfection was falling apart.

No, perhaps there was a void he wasn't aware of that now Renar was filling.

So that feeling must be somewhat positive, Renar was making Devland more perfect, that was perhaps the best guess.

'It's a good thing to have realized this information beforehand.' A smirk was plastered on his face now. 'Ah...Your wishes will surely never come true now, Ren. I just can't allow it.'