A broken soul with one sentence

2. Is this for real?

Some days pass and me and Yuki pm about Vocaloid again. Like myself he has some unusual hobbies, like cross dressing and reading Yuri. I don't cross dress but would really like to, and I read yaoi. Don't judge me because I know I'm weird and will go to the lovely place called hell. Anyway as we are texting he write: 'Can't you be my Rin?' and I answer: 'Only if you will be my Len.' We laugh and agree, then Yuki send this: 'you know I support the twincest between Rin and Len.' and now I feel my cheeks heating up and a smile forming on my face. I replay with: 'Yeah me too I love it.' I was so happy at this moment. Yuki sent: 'Oh then we both know what we got into then we asked to be each others Rin and Len.' All I can reply with is a simple 'yes' because I'm kind of confused at the moment, but we continue chatting.

In the end of our conversation before I go to sleep around 4:00 am I nervously ask: 'Are we you know like a official couple?' Yuki write 'yes' and I text: ' In real life too?' He write a laugh and text: 'Yes I would prefer that.' I reply with a 'yay!' In caps lock. I get so happy that I think I might explode. I have a boyfriend now, a boyfriend for real, seriously.

Every following night I chat with Yuki till at least 3:00 am and sometimes during the day. Almost from the beginning I knew that Yuki was the same age as me and living in USA. So this is a long distance relationship, with me in Sweden and Yuki in USA. One night then we are talking about our long distance Yuki write: 'I have asked my school to be a exchange student next year to Sweden.' And my mind goes blank, is this for real. As I ask he says yes and I just can't express my feelings in words. To my surprise I start crying, I'm so happy that I cry. Crying out of happiness has never happened to me before, this was a first. I write that I'm crying and that no one has never said or done something like this for me before. After that it takes some time for me to get myself together and stop crying.

Some day later I get to know that Yuki has heart problems but not anything to serious. And also that he has his own diagnoses. I ask questions about them and accept it like okay it's no problem that is that make Yuki to who he is, himself.

We continue to get to know each other and become kind of lovey dovey wherever we chat. I still have a depression but I still feel like this is the happiest days of my life. Friends, family, boyfriend, everything in balance.

Yuki and I decide that we will keep quiet about our relationship for our parents, until we have been together for a time and till we are ready to tell them. But telling our friends in the chats and in real life was another thing.