A broken soul with one sentence

10. Lucky me "sarcasm?"

First day of school was mosty just instructions and information. My class is a special one, we work individual woth our own thing to get higher grades in subjects we failed or didn't do before at the last school. So we then can apply to a "real" high-school afterwards. We have no high pressure or time limits on us to finish, just studying at your own peace.

It's a pretty okay place, I got one friend there. Though I still feel pretty lonely.

And of course after some days I got sick, an evil cold that had been lingering for a long time just to burst out now. I didn't want to eat or walk around all I wanted was to sleep. But I wasn't allowed to just sleep, I had to be awake on the day though I would just like to sleep.

I was sick for an week, but I didn't go to school afterwards even though I wad healthy. In the weekend of my sick week I got an depressions dip. My mood just hit rock bottom again. I can get like that sometimes. Something can trigger it or it's just random. This time it was about this whole Yuki thing. Putting salt in my wounded heart by thinking to much about it.

It took me some week to get my mood up again, but after some days at school it soon dropped again. I do my best at school, I get a lot done. But I tire myself out and are so out of it that I almost fall asleep as soon I get home. And I don't go to school the next day. Social things is extremely energy draining for me, it's like I go on a spare tank in the end of the day. Taking the energy for the next day. And if I do so for to long I crash, and can't recover easily. It can take up to the double amount of time it took to use it, sometimes even more. In the end of the month of August Onii starts to talk to me privately again, no group chats just us. He asks how I am and tell him how I feel, depressed.

Onii really helps me, and we can relate to each other. Between me and him there are some years apart, he is some years older then me. And we both have had it tough, depression, sorrow, secrets. We help each other to not lose ourselves completely.

And in just a couple of days we got to know each othe really well, telling things we usually keep to ourselves. Sharing secrets, even though we both had trust issues. I felt really glad and happy to have found Onii as a new friend, in joy and sorrow.

As we talk I mention Yuki and Onii knows him too. I tell him about what have happen and my true thoughts about it. Onii and Yuki are good friends and he knows basically that have happened already. He encourage me to talk to Yuki, and as Ada also told me to do weeks ago. And that's what I have to do. Right now.