A broken soul with one sentence

15. Let your rage out

After I finished talking to Yuki I talk a little to Xris and Onii, letting them known everything that happened. Then I go to search for that girl Yuki was with.

I find her in the same place she was before, and Yuki is with her. I text that I was there and the girl attack me with words. I take it all, I did just out of nowhere accuse her boyfriend in her point of veiw. Yuki try to clam her down but I just tell him to shut up. As the girl tells me she want to kill me, I just say yes kill me. I even tell her were I live but well we don't even live on the same part of the continent. I let her shout at me, yell at me, telling me to die or disappear. Then I ask Yuki to leave but he won't, I beg at him to leave and after the girl says it's okay he leaves.

I then tell the girl that I wanted to, I didn't want Yuki to hear because he might think I say it out of pity and also I didn't want him to worry since I never told him this. I told the girl that I'm suicidal and plan to kill myself then I turn 20, if my life isn't better. I tolf her that if she really wanted me dead, all she needed to do was to say it. After saying it I started to cry, and it wouldn't stop. The girl tells me no and that she knows how it feels because she is suicidal too. She had clamed down a little now and we talked about ourselves. I then end the conversation with saying that I hope she is happy with Yuki, but that I will keep an eye on him and tell her if I see anything.

Days go by and I don't go to school. I feel empty, not sad just empty. Nothing special happens except that the day after the 'cheating' I join Oniis guild, I can't stand being in the same one as Yuki after all that have happened. Well I get happier and go to school some day but not often. Around a week later there is some drama in the guild, basically the guild split up. You could say that the leader got power crazy and didn't handle things correctly. So a girl named Naya made a new guild and some joined there, me included. Onii joined too but some days later, we had to make good ending for the crazy leader. Before I left I sent a lot of hardcore yaoi pictures in the chat as a goodbye present: from Jun// sorry not sorry. Onii told me how they reacted as he still was in that guild at the time, it was so funny. After everyone had joined the new guild and made some ground rules, things got back to being peaceful kind of.

In the end of October I go to a convent for movies, games and everything around anime. Biggest event of the year for me, it was so fun. Third year in a row now and I was there with my Dad as usual, it's a Dad and daughter thing for us.

It doesn't happen much in weeks from then, I do what I usually do. Sleeping, gaming, watching anime and maybe some drawing. Christmas is getting closer and closer. Yuki have started to talk to me sometimes ingame, I talk a little with him but it feels uncomfortable. Then I ask him about the girl he was with he says 'who?' and I also see that he flirts with new girls. A player alright.

In the end of November I hang out with Ada at her place, and I tell her everything that have happened since school started. We talk about a lot of things and just take it easy.

Now for Christmas, boring as it may be but nothing much happened till some days before Christmas. My family and I were going to spend the Christmas with my Dads side of the family. So we drive to my grandparents the day before Christmas. Then celebrate Christmas, with was pretty awkward for me since I rarely meet Dads part of the family. Then we drive home the day after Christmas, and celebrate with Moms part of the family that weekend. And what did I get from everyone, that's right mostly money. The typical thing for an 16 year old.

The next week was new years eve, spent it at my parents friends house. There were no children my age so I ate and then played games all the time, I only stopped to say cheers then the clocks got to twelve making it a new year. Then five minutes later I was playing again, I was really social.