Daniel Howell Imagines

Dark Blue Tennessee

Based off of Dark Blue Tennessee by Taylor Swift (unreleased)

Trigger Warning: Contains mention of suicide and depression

Prompt: Dan and Reader are living in Tennessee, and they are no longer together, even though they cant live without each other.

Word Count: 924

Narrators P.O.V

"He said 'i got me a nice new apartment, in the city wouldn't you have hated that? I'm getting by with the broken heart you left me with'"

"Hey (y/n), I'm just calling to tell you that I've decided to move to Los Angeles, I bet you would've hated that huh? I-uh, um, I-I don't know why I'm telling you this, but i thought i should let you know, that I'm finally getting by and moving on. So uh- goodbye" Dan stutters into the phone, and then hangs up. Its been 9 months since him and (y/n) had broken up, and the thing is, they cant live without each other.

"He hangs up the phone and she whispers back 'Missing you like this is such sweet sorrow, wont you come back to me? Ill be here today and here tomorrow in dark blue Tennessee.'"

(Y/n) missed Dan incredibly so. Even though Dan has hung up the phone, she whispers back as if he could hear her "I miss you so much. I need you. I love you." Much like Dan, (y/n) was hurting just as much, if not more. She needed him, He needed her, they needed each other to breathe, to live, to function.

Everything in their lives that they've ever did, they were always there right by one another, supporting each other, being there for each other, loving each other the best they could.

"He was lying when he said he moved to L.A, hes just hiding out on the other side of town. With his head in his hands and shes just 7 miles away"

But little did (y/n) know, that Dan was lying when he said he was moving to Los Angeles. He wanted it to seem that he was moving on from her. She was the love of his life, his soulmate, and he was those exact things to her as well. Dan was really just hiding out on the other side of the small town.

Dan was depressed. He would constantly sit in his room with his head in his hands, and well (y/n) was just 7 miles away, feeling miserable because she thought the love of her life moved away to a different city, to a different state, to live a better life.

"Hes staring out the window and puts her picture down saying 'Missing you like this is such sweet sorrow. Wont you come back to me? Ill be here today and here tomorrow in dark blue Tennessee' "

As Dan stares out his bedroom window, to look out at all the small towns lights, he starts thinking about his life, he starts thinking about (y/n). Oh god how he needs her. Oh god how he loves her. He feels like a complete idiot for letting things get to the way they were. He only blames himself.

Dan looks over to his bedside table, and sees a picture of (y/n) and him. It was their first kiss that a mutual friend had photographed. He lays the photograph faced down and whispers to himself

"God i miss you. I miss you like nothing else in the world matters."

"She almost called him on the night that he wrote, these simple words on his goodbye note..."

One night everything got to over whelming for the both of them. But the difference is they handled the situations differently. (Y/n) was about to call Dan, to ask for forgiveness, to ask for his help. But something inside of her stopped her, something inside of her told her that it wasn't a good idea, that he wouldn't care. So she left it.

Little did she know that her phone call could've been the difference between life and death. As cliche as it sounds, its incredibly true in every aspect.

The next morning, (y/n) was awakened by a knock on her front door. When she went to go and answer it, she was met with a middle aged woman with brown hair and tears streaking down her cheeks. Dan's mum.

Without explaining anything, She hands (y/n) over a note, a goodbye note, infact. (Y/n) took the note and skimmed over the messy hand writing, it was a long note, explaining how much he loved her, and how he blames himself for the way things got. But there was one paragraph on that note that caught her eye.

Missing you like this is such sweet sorrow, wont you come back to me? Ill be here today and here tomorrow in dark blue Tennessee...

When Dan's mum left, all (y/n) could do was cry. The one person she truly loved was gone. Hes dead.

A few days later was Dan's funeral, and instead of saying a speech, she scribbled down the exact same poem Dan had put in his suicide note, onto a piece of paper and put it in his casket.

The reason for referring to Tennessee, as Dark Blue, is because that's how they saw it when they were without each other.

Dan couldn't live with the fact that he had hurt the one person he truly cared about. But now (y/n) had to live without him, and not in the sense of them not being together, but in the sense of him not being on this earth.