Daniel Howell Imagines

Mess Her Up

A/N: So it's been a little while since i've really been on here but i finally have something decent! (p.s i highly suggest you listen to the song before you read this, or while you read this)

Song(s) Used: Mess Her Up - Amy Shark

Pairing: Dan x Female Reader

Genre: angst

Started: 26/7/2018 2:43am

Finished: 26/7/2018 3:23am

Word Count: 882 words

Your P.O.V

It's the little white lies that keep us awake
It's the long drive home that makes people talk

I've always been scared to do a lot of things. Skydiving? Yes. Bungee Jumping? Hell Yes. Coming out to the entire world that I'm dating the most perfect boyish man in the world? I honestly didn't think I would ever be scared to declare my love for somebody, but the more I think about having to come clean about a relationship I've been in, it terrifies me a little more each time.

Dan and I have been dating for about 3 months now, so the relationship is relatively new, and because we're in the honeymoon stage of our relationship, we have been reckless. People have started catching onto the fact that there's something going on between us, but no matter how much we lie and say that none of it is true, people continue to speculate, and they speculate even more.

It's the fear in our hearts that give us away
It's the playful fight in the swimming pool
I still think of you.

All of those lies that we tell everyone almost everyday keep me awake at night, scared of what they might think when we do officially come out as a couple. Will they accept me as Dan's girlfriend? Will they hate me? Will they like me? How many death threats will I receive? How many insults will be thrown my way? How many times will I be accused of ruining Phan? Every single day, all of these questions are all I think about.

And no matter how much we lie, there's always proof. The long drive homes back to each others flats, The long goodbyes in public spaces, like the airport of the park, it's the playful fight Dan and I had in a swimming pool when we first started dating.

I'm just so scared of telling everyone about our relationship, and not only getting attacked by hoards of fangirls on my social media, but also ruining my relationship with Dan, but I know that the longer we keep this facade up, the more we break our relationship; and I would rather have angry fangirls attack me and call me horrible names, than have my relationship ruined because we were scared of said fangirls.

It's the long goodbyes that give us away
It's the song that comes on and hurts the most
But the high notes get the best of you.

"Do you really think we should tell them? Do you really think this is a good idea?" Dan asks, just as terrified as I am about coming clean with our relationship.

"No, I don't think it's a good idea, but what we're doing to them is hurting us, and we need to come clean, because I can't keep lying awake at night and having our lies eating away at me when there's already so much proof." I confess. Dan looks at me, like he's defeated; and then looks at the ground, contemplating his next actions

Some say that we'll be over before we've begun
And i can't let it be over, I've gotta have one

"Have you seen what they've been saying though? They're saying that we're going to be over before we even come clean, and I'm so scared that once we do tell the truth it will just cause so many problems between us, and I can't let that happen to us." Dan confesses, and in all honesty, I feel the exact same way.

Listen to you love like crazy
Time should make this easy

"But have you seen what keeping it from everyone has been doing to us? It's tearing us apart more than any angry comments or fangirls. Time should make this easy, or easier at least." I try to reason with Dan, and I can tell by his demeanor he knows that I'm right.

Dan sits up, mulling over his thoughts for a few minutes, thinking of his next words, and his next steps.

Alright, i'm ready to shake things up

"Okay, you're right, this is eating away at us, we need to tell them. If you're ready to do this, we'll tell everyone officially in a couple of days."

Dear god, this is really gonna mess her up

The only thought that ran through my head was 'dear god, this is really going to mess you up.' and I can't help but subconsciencly pray that I would be able to get through this, despite the fact that it was my idea, because this is really, really, really going to mess me up, and going through all of this, is a lot for love; but for Dan, every hurdle thrown my way is worth it.

And I keep on praying that I'm strong enough
It's a lot for love, it's a lot for love.